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 1062 entries, showing page 12 of 76 
Wednesday, May 15th 2019
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Filling A Hole
Not THAT kind of hole!

I noticed one of my sexy neighbours was musing about shopping which got me thinking about such a task.


The only shopping I can bring myself to do is for FOOD!

Since my way of eating has changed so radically, it is a new and different experience sourcing the most nutritionally dense fodder so that my one meal of the day (OMAD) can be hardcore.


Shopping for something I need is a one click affair thank fuck, as tedious as that mission is. I will never understand how people find such a soul sucking bullshit waste of time buying more landfill is relaxing. There are far more interesting things to be doing with my time, but then, I’m not a young bouncy 20-something! No, I’m an old bouncy thing that would rather be doing pretty much anything else with my valuable time.

One thing I have never understood is the bullshit of shopping for something you don’t know you need. What? Oh the handlers will be proud that the brainwashing has worked on the masses. there is nothing missing in my life that I need to fill with shit I don’t need.


When a hole needs filling there are much more enjoyable things to fill it with!
Monday, May 13th 2019
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Cheap & Nasty
Check out my cheap nasty fetish thigh length boots!

Cheap they may be (if £100 is cheap to you), nasty they sure fucking are.


Perhaps this is precisely why they are so popular with all those fetishistas who love this toned & tiny frame contorted in all sorts of positions easily reaching back to drag the heel close to those juicy buns whilst being anally impaled.

Yet to find a decent pair of leather boots similar, especially with these tiny little legs in both length & most definitely girth!


My even cheaper, but not quite so nasty leather ones are on their last legs but are to be snapped up by a boot sniffing pervert who will be taking them away after his visit since they have definately had their time in the limelight.

Not carrying any extra weight does have its down sides as much as the delectable darlings dominating the curvaceous department.
Saturday, May 11th 2019
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Bums Make Such Nice Hand Warmers!
There are a lot of sexy arses presenting themselves as multi hand warmers at the moment!

An unexpected last minute visitor who had snaffled my number from the profile page for stress relieving emergencies such as this called on the hour and by half past was encasing both of my petite little hands within his capable crevice.


I am repeatedly informed that with such sensitive matters, it is necessary to visit someone who “knows what they’re doing” partly to have a rip roaring time with their cute little arses smiling approvingly at my endeavours and partly because it can be an infuriating process when a less than proficient pair of hands venture into one’s descending colon.

Myself both a giver and a taker of tiny hands, you can be absolutely certain when visiting, you will be in the most capable ones.

Thursday, May 9th 2019
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Doing things by halves = sub standard
The concept of half assing ANYTHING boggles my brain.  Why even bother in the first place if you are just going to make a feeble semi-attempt?

Take my daily Cam-a-thons commencing at 5 or 6am and ceasing for the day at 8pm when I hit the hay in readiness for more of the same in less than 10 hours’ time!


A massively early bird, I’ve been enjoying this routine for a number of decades, long before AW even existed, if you can recall such a time.

Instead of awaking to spread the love with the assistance of one’s pert little chassis, it was shimmying on up to contort the sweaty carcass into a more regimented routine of hot yoga before bouncing back to de-spunk a few real life cocks.


I had a brief stint at camming from a very nice but rather basic home studio but it really didn't work out for me. You will have to come and visit the all singing all dancing one I tease and amuse myself from these days!

Fast forward a few years it’s pretty much the same with the flexible fingerings and cock de-seeding, just in better designed surroundings, not the basic bitch one pictured!  
Wednesday, May 8th 2019
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I'm a Fat Ugly Whore (2 out of 3 aint bad)
Not always am I in the tolerant mood for abusive misogynists who have elected to work through their issues via the admirable mode of online cam performers.

Admirable because it is a little bit like a quick fix, making you feel better in the short term because you’ve said what you have already wanted to say to all those nasty ladies who wouldn’t talk to you partly because you’re a grade A cunt, partly due to innumerable factors too wide reaching to go into in one short blog (the only kind I provide).


No Aderol to hand so can’t be arsed wading through a fucking wall of text and don’t expect you to either.

So I had some forgettable fuckwit join a rather bemused me in group to reliably inform me that I was a whore. Well shit, Sherlock, have a gold star.


The best one was when I received some abuse the other day which was clearly one of those circular cunt & pasters who insisted I was not just a whore (so far so good) but a fat ugly one!

Being some kind of genetic freak (in medical terms known as an ectomorph) I have never been more than 7.5 stone on a fat day in my entire life (and that was BEFORE I discovered LCHF/keto) which isn’t as emaciated as it would sound given my diminutive 5 ft stature by the way. These days I’m hovering around 6.5 and 7st with increased muscle & decreased inflammation thanks to how awesome the body is at autophagy.


Wow what a tangent!

Back on track, Mr. Arsey Bollocks was desperately attempting to get some kind of negative reaction but unfortunately for him, I’m of the outlook that what YOU do is a direct result of YOUR shit.


Nothing to do with me.

what. so. fucking. ever.

Monday, May 6th 2019
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Magnificent Moniker Maketh The Man
As is immediately apparent from the increasing variations of my name, monikers are so much fun to create.

Not wanting to miss the opportunity to let folk know what they are letting themselves in for, and so the most accurate name was born!


So you can imagine my delight when “Pleasefuckmydad” graced my direct cam room today, instantly upgrading my already fabulous day with his awesome name and playful disposition.

Not a fan of those names I can’t pronounce; that’s just selfish! Same as the numbers. “Hullow 1169373” doesn’t really have quite the same ring to it as “Pleasefuckmydad”.


Not only is he obviously a nice filthy fucker, but a polite one too.

What’s not to love?
Friday, May 3rd 2019
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Tried It >> Smoking Fetish << Minging AF
Has been requested such a lot recently but alas you’ve missed the boat on that one, sugardick!

That filthy habit is one I ditched a while back. Moving onto rolling one’s own pure tobacco still had me hacking like a good ‘un and looking as grey as the ash I was desperately sucking into my lungs and feeling like the very poison I was subjecting my poor little carcass to.


Once, many years ago, I did a smoking fetish session that had me virtually puking up. Not being much of a chain smoker at the best of times, it was expected to be pretty much smoking the whole time and it was grim as fuck.

A bit like a recovering alcoholic, it’s just not possible to have ‘just the one’. Mainly because it’s fucking minging and it doesn’t make any sense to conduct a high quality health regime only to piss on one’s own chips with a regular hit of carcinogens.


As orally obsessed as one may be, I can think of a multitude of things I’d far rather be getting my chops around!
Thursday, May 2nd 2019
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How to Be Fuckable: The Eating Window
I’ve got something juicy you can chow down on but gently as you go, eager beaver!

One of the bonuses after one has ditched the health wrecking sugar in its many guises is that the new nutrient & fuel dense way of eating offers the obvious benefit of not needing to spike insulin more than is absolutely necessary.


Win!

As a working fitness trainer I found that skipping breakfast was great and those fasted HIIT sessions are so much easier without the drain of limited fuel source of sugar slowing the body down. The metabolic flexibility of training to become fat adapted is not just in it’s unexpected aesthetic benefits and what can be better than gaining muscle & losing visceral fat?


You see, you don’t lose weight to get healthy; the health happens when you ditch the carbs and the toxic flab being carted around unnecessarily. I didn’t embark on an inflammation reducing WOE to lose weight, being an enviable ectomorph miraculously with little insulin resistance of which to speak. Fuck knows how I got away with that one, with my previous carbatarian eating predelictions!

As anyone who has ever embarked on the metabolism damaging, miserable standard DIEts will testify, lowering the caloric intake & upping the activity is hardly sustainable but still folk buy into that horse shit and wonder why they’re still fat & miserable.


Fuck that!

We want to feel full, satisfied, healthy and above all - happy. Looking at inconsequential minutiae such as calories is utterly ridiculous especially when you consider the good news that tissue distribution is primarily down to what you shovel into your face.


HIGH FAT - FUCK CARBS
Wednesday, May 1st 2019
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Bitches, “Is NOTHING Sacred?”!
After over a decade of enjoying the ride that is the Almighty AW, naturally a profile of this calibre attracts the attentions of the clueless numpties. In the absence of any creativity of their own, the more inept inevitably turn to blatantly copying my own original text.

Not only from the main body itself but most recently, the bitches have even copied the fucking interview!


How low can they really stoop? Don't they realise that it takes more than a spot of intellectual property theft or with one fuckwit, blatant rearranging of one's moniker, to emulate one's decades long success?

Neither AW nor I are ones for taking intellectual property theft lightly and once you are on the radar for being a shifty sort, it is inevitably a slippery slope before you are deleted permanently in my extensive experience. Tick tock tick tock, bitches!


Just ask some of those tragic tits who have fucked with me in the past! One day they log in and their profile simply is not there. You know who you are.

But the clueless cunts got to be quicker/better than that as my creative juices know no bounds and just as one’s education increases with unmatched perpetuity, and so does the ever evolving profile in all its multifaceted glory.
Tuesday, April 30th 2019
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Dulcet Tones of "The Caramel Bunny"
Yet another happy pervert de-spunked!

It was immediately apparent as I embarked on the Clinical Psychotherapy & Hypnotherapy course that my hypnotic talents extended to providing honeyed dulcet tones capable of dragging the balls right through the end of a cock.


So much so I was quickly nicknamed The Caramel Bunny such were my mesmerising tones. The millennials won't have the foggiest what I'm talking about of course but the grown ups of similar age and beyond will know precisely to whom I refer.

A word of warning; my line can get pretty hectic at times, with the boys much like the proverbial buses when all the cocks rock up to be despunked at the same time. Your tenacity will be duly rewarded.
Monday, April 29th 2019
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AW Blog Competition Winner!
Another AW competition smashed!

A tidy 200 credits are now gracing my balance in return for my lifetime achievement of 897 (898 including this one!) over just THIS incarnation of profile


Leafing through the tips on blogging, I was nodding all the way through approvingly knowing precisely what works and just as importantly; what doesn't.

Those who have been around since the launch of AW will remember that we could post date blogs which is how I used to do mine; en masse, reams at a time.


With the disappearance of this feature they are more off the cuff, often spontaneous, occasionally cunty but always authentic.
Saturday, April 27th 2019
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Naughty Notting Hill! | New London KDB HQ
After a couple of weeks attending to the randy requirements of my Northern contingency it is evident that one's presence has been sorely missed here in the salubrious surroundings of West London where I am currently shacked up in naughty Notting HIll!

I do love making full use of my Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea parking permit. Fuck knows it costs enough and I do like getting my money's worth as much as I love giving you YOUR money's worth!


So much fun it is to use my various locations as KDB HQ, leaving it all behind at night to return to base where I can refuel, recharge and wash out one's rectum with a litre or two of lightly roasted organic bot coffee before doing it all over again the next day.

As much as I adore what and who I select to visit do, maintenance and downtime is absolutely imperative to facilitate such high octane shenanigans, especially fast approaching one's 5th decade on this low vibrational plane.


Only at certain times can one enter the restorative modes of healing & repair. This is why 9pm is my bed time; for optimal circadian functioning.

As I am constantly telling my clients in my mainstream practice:, "resting IS training".
Friday, April 26th 2019
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MANCHESTER! Thanks for having me!
Those high expectations were well founded after I made my debut in Piccadilly Gardens all those years ago. They were truly met on my return and then some!

Not that I had time for much horizontal entertainment on this trip due to my ever growing mainstream job commitments but the little time I did have here was with some really amazing guys.

It was a little time consuming to pick through the timewasters, fantasists, lunatics and plain old mean spirited cunts with too much time on their hands but this is not my first rodeo and comes with the territory these days. Nothing the call blocker can't handle.

What a sublime last day to be enjoying from the 20th floor of my apartment block looking out over the ever changing cityscape of this buzzing metropolis.

Thanks again for making me so welcome, Manchester, I will be back again next year all going well!



Monday, April 22nd 2019
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MANCHESTER DUOS with HOLLY RUDE
It's been years and years since I had my hands on the gorgeous HOLLY RUDE and this week we both find ourselves in the same place at the same time for a change!

It's tricky to find someone similarly depraved and as the pretty name suggests, she sure is RUDE in all the right ways!


If you would like to book us both together, the etiquette as is generally the case, would be to check on her availability, mine and then see when your busy schedule can squeeze is both in.

Separately we are noted for blowing your mind as well as your cock but TOGETHER? Get ready for a face melting, cock draining sensory overload which will have you wobbling out with a stupid big grin on your happy little face!


Ms. Rude is linked from my profile for your convenience so we look forward to draining you very soon!
  

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