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Monday, June 17th 2024

A high in High Wycombe

We're forever getting calls from guys all over the UK especially London who've seen 'our advert' and want an incall booking, like straightaway. And it's usually because they've spotted us on some shady platform that's lifted details off of here (AdultWork) without permission so they can gain numbers and attract other (paying) subscribers. Other times though, its for real. We get guys calling who've really done their homework; they've read every word of our extensive profiles, over & over, before picking up the phone. And even then, it's often out of curiosity with no firm intention of meeting. But it's our job to turn 'wishful thinking' into 'wish I'd done this years ago' hence the wording on our bio. Years ago we would have dismissed such people as dreamers, but with 13+ years experience under our belts as full time escorts, as well as Mistress &/or Master, we now know better. Patience & Empathy are the key words here. As professional escorts, we know its good now and then to consciously take a step back; it's all too easy after a record month to think you're invincible & 'you've got it sussed' only to fall flat the following month through overconfidence. Lost business can happen for all manner of reasons... phone calls where 'you could have done better' or could have 'cut the guy some slack' or even just turning the phone off early 'because you've had enough' which isn't really an option when you work for yourself...it's a fine line. Three or four losses can make a big difference to monthly targets. Targets? Yes, I'm afraid so. We run our escorting activities as a serious business, but hey!...that doesn't mean we're not fun; it just means we're always at it, as well as on it.

So one Saturday about two months ago when Geeze was home alone, the phone rang, and it was a guy 'who'd been in a busy club stood at the bar waiting to be served when.....'
I'm sure you've been there at some time. Customers two or three deep serging back & forward, jockeying for position, trying to catch the attention of an invariably stressed bartender struggling to keep up. Staff no shows, loud music, multiple jobs to offset the cost of living crisis, abuse, fatigue... all symptoms of a broken Britain these kind of workers are [sadly] all too familiar with... ANYWAY, getting back to our inquirer, Paul (we'll call him for the sake of anonymity) told us, that in the middle of the mayhem, he felt a guy push hard up against him from behind, and he could actually feel his cock. Whether it was intentional or not we'll never know, but the point is, it tripped a switch.

In common with many guys 40+, especially those in LTR's where the sex has all but dried up, Paul had often 'wondered'. Wondered what it would be like to see another guys' cock at close quarters. To play with one perhaps, nothing too serious you understand, watching one another, or a mutual wank perhaps. Thoughts turn to the keyboard, to see what comes up in a browser when wifey's gone to bed early and voila, the Pandoras Box is opened. Threesomes are top of the list. MFM's predominantly,(don't know the difference? Read our profile) but now and then there's an MMF snuck in amongst the 'related videos'. There's an old saying 'a stiff prick knows no conscience', so 'MR CURIOUS' steps further out of his comfort zone and starts viewing male-male-female action; or cuckold porn for example. Still, he's safe in the knowledge, that's it's just a fantasy, and NO HARM can come of it. And that's true, no harm will come of it, even if he eventually goes all the way, and experiences it FOR REAL.

Why no harm I hear you ask? A number of reasons. Firstly, same sex desire isn't abnormal, it's surprisingly common. Sex positivity is the best word to describe it. We're forbidden here to insert links, even if they're educational, which is one reason why we don't blog much on this platform. So Google it for a full explanation. Secondly, that desire is a little seed...in your brain; the brain's the biggest sex organ believe it or not, it's why porn works, or phone sex for that matter, or even leering/flirting, and that little seed will steadfastly refuse to GO AWAY until. Until you address it. If that's you, it's better to do something about it, rather than leave it, & suffer increasing agony & restlessness. Humans don't like uncertainty. Thirdly, by taking action & actually meeting with others on the QT, you might just be saving a marriage that's otherwise on a steady downward trajectory. The ideal situation obviously is to discuss such fantasies with your significant other, however, this isn't always possible, or even recommended. In the latter case, it begs the question whether you should even be together in the first place. In reality couples often diverge, and grow apart from one another. Harsh criticism perhaps, but COMMUNICATION is key in ALL relationships; we've seen numbers of men now running well into four figures most of whom feel they CANNOT/DARE NOT reveal their true feelings to their partners. Other couples there's a 'Don't ask don't tell' kind of rule.... dangerous ground imo, but it works for some. This is a subject we've researched deeply, and even have a website for; it focuses on men & loneliness, monogamy and CNM (consensual non monogamy). A lot of man are married AND lonely, and it's a problem getting worse, not better.

The nightclub incident prompted Paul to 'get off' on his fantasy by way of porn, and that worked well for a while. But it wasn't enough, hence the phone call. It takes courage for some guys to even ring in for phone sex, we get that, and I could tell Paul was nervous from the outset. But nerves & an initial struggle to find words soon gave way to more fluent conversation. As Geeze gently probed (metaphorically speaking), Paul revealed more about his 'thoughts'. The initial call lasted almost an hour; it wasn't dirty phone sex, just gentle discussion. He MAY have been masturbating towards the end, to be honest, I'd be surprised if he wasn't but that definitely wasn't his motivation for calling (free phone chat); it was more to verify he wasn't abnormal and to inquire as to the best way forward for a man with his 'leanings'. In common with many site visitors, he'd been following us for a while, and took notice of our extensive feedback, way more than most couples. He also noted that I was bsisexual, not 'bicurious' or 'heteroflexible' which is what some couples advertise. What that really means is they're trying to be all things to all people. In reality there are only a tiny handful of escort couples in the UK where the male is truly bi and versatile so #DYOR. He (rightly) felt he could divulge secrets and get an intelligent response. The problem for him, was that he lived 250 miles distant never venturing further north than Oxford.

Years ago we used to tour. But as most service providers will tell you, the 'punter demographic' has deteriorated, and continues to do so. Millennial's & under now represent 50% plus of the group. Thirty + percent of GenZ's are having no skin on skin sex whatsoever, preferring virtual, while average Millennial has no clue about how to communicate, & even when he does he demands EVERYTHING on offer PLUS a whole lot we don't...... all in a fifteen minute booking. NOW. Enough said :( Needless to say, as a result, touring can be at best marginal in profitability, and at worst, unviable. Some couples shag like bunnies, piling it high and selling it cheap, but that's not our style. Never has been never will. Over the years we've invested in knowledge and equipment to cater for serious players, and most importantly, return players, the lifeblood of any successful business. I never forget a whizz kid Direct Sales manager lecturing me and a group of door knockers decades ago.... he said 'twenty years experience can mean two things'. Either, a person/company has learnt from trials & tribulation over a period of twenty years and evolved, with success assured. OR, a person/company has been in business twenty years and learnt nothing, in effect duplicating that first year twenty time IE twenty times one year of experience. His reason for highlighting the difference, was to explain why some businesses survive hard times, while others do not. Food for thought, because unless you've been living under a rock, or you're totally engrossed in the blessed football, it seems likely we're hurtling forward into a depression to rival that of 1929. Buckle up. But with regard to touring, it's not for us anymore. Far better to keep things tight, & concentrate on bigger bookings building on our experience, or equipment, or both. That's what we've done this past four years, with a fair degree of success. After all, we're still here, whilst a good many of the prima donnas have dropped off the radar. Instead of touring, regular followers will know that we offer unique bespoke bookings IE, custom bookings tailored to an individual where we do ALL the arranging; so basically we put together an incall local to a client wherever he may be; its the ultimate discreet tryst. Interestingly, most of the guys we see this way have NEVER BEEN WITH AN ESCORT OF ANY KIND.

Long story short, a few weeks later saw us heading down the A1, M1 & M40 to High Wycombe in Buckinghamshire to meet Paul.
Paul's a British born Asian from Harrow, so the M40 was ideal for him PLUS there was a good bit of distance between the two locations. We chose a 4 star hotel adjacent to a shopping centre so he could park his car there, and not in the hotel where it would be clocked. Tiny detail I know, but oh so important when it comes to being discreet. You may remember the incident a few years ago with an MP nicknamed Vazeline.... he got caught with bis pants down playing with a couple of Romanian rent boys. Talk about judgment! Or lack of it... he was chairing a government think tank at the time looking into sex work! Maybe it was the stiff prick thing again I don't know. However, when it comes to bespoke bookings we take care of all details so you don't have to.

Arrangements were made to meet initially in the bar. Paul liked a drink and told us he 'wanted to get to know us more' before heading to the bedroom. We spotted him a mile off, crossing the car park. He appeared younger than expected, confident & friendly looking, dressed casually in blue jeans & a grey sweatshirt, clean shaven with a bandana. We were pleased to see each other, after so many messages not to mention lewd images back & forth via Telegram over a period of weeks. The lounge was decorated in contemporary style, luxurious and large enough for us to merge in; three business people discussing deals to all intents and purposes. He wasted no time in offering to buy drinks! A couple of wines later we were leading Paul astray... along a maze of corridors and right angle corners, to a luxury King Room, or sort of... tbh it was a little disappointing; good condition yes, with all the trimmings, but still very corporate. The photos on the booking site were shall we say 'manipulated' making the room look bigger than it was... prompting Geeze initially to recheck the reservation. Usually, for bespoke bookings we book a full suite. It's nice to have the run of a lounge and a bedroom, especially with cross dressers, who like big mirrors and space to 'strut their stuff' in private. This hotel hadn't the suite option, a point made clear to our client who decided on grounds of cost to go with it anyway.

Paul sent a message the week before 'Hey I did my legs, back and bum laser. All smooth' We hadn't known before then he may be a potential sissy, cross dresser, why. (Ha! Giving my age away there 'why' as in 'what have you', especially common in the small ads in Exchange & Mart back in the day) We replied 'Does that mean we're to feminise you? And turn you into a cock whore?'
'Nice' was his reply.
'Actions speak loudest' was our answer, accompanied by an image of a bum with 'COCK WHORE' written across it in red lipstick either side of a black leather strap attached to an anal hook. This kind of conversation we found interesting to say the least. Such people are high on the list of 'men we like to meet'. With each passing day, the upcoming tryst with Paula looked more & more promising. And so it turned out. In the bar, she had been eager to tell us about a cache of new toys she'd bought for the occasion, thrown into a paper carrier bag. We could just see what looked like a butt plug and a dildo wrapped in pink tissue; once safely behind closed doors she took them out for us to see. At the same time we opened the lid of a mid sized suitcase crammed with goodies. She'd requested we bring heels, makeup, wigs, selection of clothes... we did just that. There was a TON of stuff; when we meet gurls we always strive to do our very best at feminisation. You wouldn't believe how we can turn the most masculine of men into something way more alluring, It just takes time & experience. This was a bespoke booking so there was plenty of both on hand.

Paul had messaged two days prior 'No problem I just want a good time, and walk out after saying that was money well spent...'
With the way things are going these days, its difficult to say whether 'hundreds of pounds' is little or a lot; it depends obviously on your status/perception. Hotel rates, food prices and wages have gone through the roof, and one of our failings over many years as a couple, is keeping pace with such things. There are escorts selling themselves short to keep busy. There are others (young part timer 'professionals' as they call themselves) coming in as newbie couples thinking they can charge outrageous amounts...clearly it's just pocket money to them. As for us, we have to carefully pitch our rate somewhere between 'affordability' & 'luxury goods' In short, we feel compelled TO DELIVER.... something you'll pick up if you study our feedback. Talking of feedback, if you're new to all this, here's a tip: check the feedback of the feedback; it will often reveal the calibre of an escort's clientele. Its one reason we insist on a phone chat before accepting a booking. If it's someone we're obviously not going to satisfy, we don't take the booking. We'd much rather be in a position where we're pleased to feel compelled to deliver, rather than it be a gun to our head, with probable negative consequences. It doesn't work every time, but fingers crossed for most potential clients it does. You can get positive feedback from a hundred guys & people take little notice of it. One bad one though & you're DONE; it's the way of the world unfortunately. Value for money is the name of the game. We knew we could deliver and then some; the art of great service!

We had a handle on Paula's anticipated wants/needs/desires so took everything we might need to assist us with that transformation. About three quarters of an hour after entering the room, we had her dressed up, horned up, and looking OH SO SEXY in tartan halter neck dress, black knickers, black stockings & suspender, black patent heels, red lippy, topped off with a Tanja feathered cut wig with fringe in dark brown. We'd tried a few different hair pieces, even a blonde one, but the dark brunette suited her to PURRfection. All the time the morphing took place, Geeze got more aroused. And so did Paula. Her clit was impressive, even more so being Asian; Smooth, perfectly shaped, and a good size; needless to say it wasn't too long before oral on *her* began in earnest. She exuded sensuality. Funny, because we'd met another Asian once in Wembley, he too from High Wycombe. The meeting was memorable because it was SO sexy and sensual. Its well know that Indians, Greeks & Chinese have a different take on sexuality; 'Going Greek' is a turn of phrase I've long been familiar with & I'm often surprised at how few men are familiar with that term. TBF I/WE are often surprised at how very limited many men are in their knowledge & experience of sexual situations. If you're reading this and think you may be one of 'em, then fear not, it's our job to put you at ease & show you the ropes, if that's what you truly want. Sometimes, we get guys who say specifically 'they want to get out of their comfort zone'. After all, life's too short to put up with BORING or SAME OLD SAME OLD.

Paula had never seen another man's cock let alone touched one. Minx gently introduced her to fondling first, before taking her under her wing & showing her what to do in terms of oral stimulation of a man. Geeze was throbbing. Seven inches or as near as, veiny with taut balls. Geeze nor Paula were precummers (except in late stages); safe sex was high on Paula's agenda, and rightly so; however, fellating Geeze to the max presented her with no problem. As in so many cases, I really had to ask if it was genuinely her first time....she was SOOOOOOOO frikin good at it. Geeze can control his orgasm, Paula wasn't so sure, and several times she had to draw away sharply, close to cumming. She'd told us she could cum twice, but Minx had previously asked her when she last masturbated 'This morning' was her answer, so we thought it prudent to hold off to a degree in case she couldn't manage a third. While Paula was being transformed, Geeze had gotten in the CD mode too, and dressed 'adequately' with some of the items left in the case, including a tartan skirt, Oxford heels & a bobbed wig. Really, I should have gone the whole hog, next time I will, nevertheless the mild feminisation was enough to induce lesbian play three ways. Minx got licked and pleasured, and it got quite intense with threeway kissing and tasting, & nipple play between the two CD's, (both liked it hard)

Paula had told us she was tight. She also shared with us her concerns over penetration & possible hurt/pain. We assured her we knew what we were doing, she had nothing to prove, and we'd be gentle. I can see easily why some CD's or subs get hurt...desire overrides reality; they crave penetration & signal they're ready when they're really not. So with Paula, it was a case of gently parting pert cheeks, pulling the knickers aside & firmly rubbing her hole with a well lubed finger then two fingers, similar to the way a real woman frigs herself. Only the very tips of Geeze's gloved fingers actually penetrated her, but it was enough. She loved it, as most men do, once they've got their head in the right place. She wanted to feel my cock there, in place of fingers....rubbering up, I obliged. In truth I was longing to fuck that tight pert little hole, but managed to resist, choosing to carefully comply with Paula's wishes instead. Deep fucking would surely come... ONE DAY.

Out of deep respect for our esteemed client I won't divulge every last detail of this hot passionate tryst. Some things are best unsaid and left to the imagination. But it ended on a high. He'd 'just wanted a good time, and to walk out afterwards saying "that was money well spent"...' and that's what he got...proof of that was him messaging; we NEVER solicit clients after meetings and some take that to mean (mistakenly) we're really not that interested. It's just us acting in a professional manner. Heaven knows who might access a client's phone? But Paula's texted us several times since, so here's hoping we meet again SOON!

Are YOU a sexy mature guy with a host of kinks & fantasies you're desperate to try? But you don't think they will ever materialise? Some people say fantasies are best left as that, fantasies. We beg to differ, and not for mercenary reasons. So many times we see men light up once behind closed doors. It's why we put 'Wish I'd done this years ago' in our ads.... because that's the way it is #LifesShort
Wherever you are in the UK, (or selected places overseas) do something today your future self will thank you for and get in touch for MMF, MFM, cuckold/creampie cleanup, double dom, feminisation & cross-dresing fun, electro, our kinky Pro Playroom & a whole lot more. We WLTMU, yes YOU!!!!
Luv fun50couple xx

PS: Do TRUE fly on the wall accounts of meetings like this turn you on? We have a well known ezine since 2016 which highlights the good the bad and the ugly of escort couple life. Get in touch for a link.

Tuesday, July 4th 2023

Tall Ships Hartlepool 2023 & other NEWS!

Hello sexy friends! Just a quick update on a major event happening this week on our doorstep. It's officially promoted as 'The Tall Ships Races Hartlepool 2023' organised by Sail Training International. Google it for a full list of visiting ships. Some of them are impressive to say the least... square riggers weighing in at over 2000 tons and dating back to the early 20th Century as well as many more modern vessels. The races are designed to encourage young people into sailing and careers in the maritime industry. NVS subscribers will know Geeze is quite keen on all things nautical having served in the Merchant Navy as a deck cadet, and from there to offshore drilling rigs. It's a totally FREE un-ticketed event, and along with the tall ships the celebration will feature 4 days of live music, dance, food markets, stalls and more. We're hoping for some sun too, and the winds abating... having suffered weeks of grey skies and strong breezes. Unusually for July, we've not to date enjoyed a single day on the beach locally this year, and it's one reason we're off down to the South West at the end of the month.

So why are we sharing this news? Well, depending on what source you get your news from, there's between tens & hundreds of thousands expected to attend Tall Ships Hartlepool. And we wouldn't mind betting, there'll be more than a few Sexy Peeps amongst the crowd. More specifically, mature men, on the lookout for an 'opportunity' to indulge in things which 'may not be on the menu at home'.

Okay, we know, you'll probably be attending the event 'with family' or combining it with a visit 'to friends or loved ones', however, most guys can 'engineer' a couple of hours leave of absence at such events. Accommodation e.g. Hartlepool hotels are at a premium for the duration of the celebration as are AirBnB's and flats; you're probably sorted, but if you're not, then you might find places to stay on Teesside or the Tees Valley. Alternatively, you could book our kinky B&B option for mature men. We're only around 35 minutes drive from the port and we would love to meet you, yes YOU! (mature straight but *curious* guys, bi guys, subs & cross dressers)

Contact us without delay if you'd like to visit anytime between 6th & 9th July and we'll fix a meeting. Don't be shy! Life's short, and with the imminent demise of cash, coupled with draconian measures to restrict freedom of movement planned for the future, time could be running out for you yes YOU, to shall we say....'indulge'. MMF, MFM, voyeurism, feminisation, forced bi, sissy training, sub games, electro, double domme-dom are ALL on the menu. Don't forget, we're one of the UK's leading mature MF escort duos with more positive AdultWork feedback than any other couple in the North, so go to our profile page, scroll down for contact details & make that call!

Other news
In about three weeks we're heading to Cornwall, on holiday. We're not supposed to be working, HOWEVER.....

If you're an interesting & horny guy looking for a sexy three-way in Newquay, willing to pay a decent deposit to secure a booking, then we could (very easily) be tempted. We once met with a 'silver' surfer at the Fistral Beach area.... in a wonderful apartment a stones throw from the ocean. He was about 60 years old, hot horny and hung, in a word DELICIOUS! So yes, get in touch if you'd like to play (professional basis only, fees apply). We're tying the holiday in with a visit to 'Serious Kit', manufacturers of milking machines, pumps, tubes and harnesses of all kinds for BDSM lovers. They're in Gloucestershire so we'll be stopping at Shipston-on-Stour the night of 31st July. We're forever investing in new equipment for our valued clients & the County Durham playroom. We prefer to buy genuine original gear, and to support the founders of those companies & their ideas; business is hard enough for anyone these days without the added problem of being stepped on by copy merchants. Anyway, if serious suction, multiple forced orgasms and advanced electro floats your boat, get in touch, because we'll be offering those extra services from August 3rd onwards. That's it folks! Hopefully see YOU soon!

Monday, May 24th 2021

Nationwide post lockdown

Hello Sexy Man! We've had a serious uptick in inquiries lately for bespoke bookings, IE custom bookings UK wide inclusive of travel, four or 5 star hotel & a two and a half or three hour meeting. Why is this? Talking to guys it seems they've been spending huge amounts of time during lockdown perusing the pages and profiles on this fine site and others like it. Formerly, they may only have searched in their local area, found no-one that suited their needs/kink/fantasy and thought the only way they'd meet the right escort/s would be if they happened to be in their locality on tour. Fourteen months digging deep to see what there 'is out there' far beyond their own local area has meant many guys have dropped on our profile for the first time. They've seen we put together 'custom bookings' hence the phone calls.

Most married men are on a fairly tight leash and/or follow a steady routine, so it's kinda difficult to meet anyone if they're not close-by. Yes there's business trips, but they too have been severely curtailed by the 'pandemic'. Bespoke bookings mean we rock up to a hotel or Airbnb close but not too close to where you live, at a discreet location, we do all the booking so there's no paper trail, we meet, we socialize we fuck, and hopefully, rinse and repeat in the future. Granted it's a bit dearer than when we're on tour, or others when they're on tour, however, there are no ifs or buts. The booking isn't dependent on a tour's viability put at risk by timewasters and no-shows. Instead, it's centred entirely on YOU, and you alone. We know there are only a handful of escort duos in the UK that REALLY deliver the service expected by the niche we serve, so a bespoke booking might be the difference been fulfilling your fantasy, or going thru life 'wishing'. Or dreaming, like so many.

A while back we met a guy in Solihul. A longtime AW member he was well aware how difficult it can be to find escorts who tick all the boxes, or should I say 'appear to tick all boxes'. He'd seen 3 or 4 couples, but had been left 'wanting'. It's a bit of a moving picture really, because when guys are on a sexual journey their expectations change from meet to meet, as they get more confident. The shyness goes, the craving for sexual gratification intensifies....a lot of its in the head, after all, the brain IS the biggest sex organ, you do know that don't you?

For the sake of anonymity, we'll call him Geoff. Geoff was a senior civil servant in a sensitive post and engaged to be married, so DISCRETION was an absolute must. So instead of doing a 'Keith Vaz', Geoff took his time and picked us, believing we'd see him right. Like many guys, he earned his crust, but felt the bespoke booking was worth saving for, and represented good value for money. He told us what geographic location he favoured, and Geeze got to work on Booking dot com, finding a four star luxury hotel close to the centre of town. Bespoke bookings are a bit 'special' so we usually book a suite. You really don't want to be shacked up in a cheapo Premier Inn with all eyes on you walking through a tiny reception do you? The posh hotels cut guests a bit of slack or so we find, the higher up the scale, the easier it is to be incognito. TBH, that's another advantage of these kinds of bookings, we're only there to see ONE PERSON so no way on God's Earth are we going to get 'sussed'. Furthermore, many of the premium suites are soundproofed, giving even more privacy & peace of mind.

Initial contact was via a detailed AW message with Geoff giving details of his previous exploits, what he was looking for, and why he had chosen us. A brief phone call followed, a deposit to cover accommodation and fuel was lodged and we were good to go. The journey down took three hours; traffic was light, weather was poor, but after checking in we were rewarded with a room fit for a King. Mini Bar, suede corner unit in the living area, contemporary writing desk, two huge tellies, an American size double, and a luxury bathroom with bath, shower, his n hers sinks, robes, the full works, and just what we needed to settle down & ready ourselves for our guest.

Reading between the lines we expected Geoff to be 'mostly vanilla' focusing only on licking, sucking and fucking. He'd told us he wasn't interested in BDSM or electro; we were prepared for a lively 2 and a half hours of no holes barred action, but it didn't turn out that way at all. Slight in build, with tiny hands and feet, Lilly white skin, and a quiet disposition, Geoff still managed to IMPRESS. You see, he was one of those naturally sensual guys, with a fairly prosaic life, used to dotting his i's and crossing his t's. But behind closed doors, he was a different animal. Generous, sexually adventurous, considerate and 100% horny was how we'd describe him.

Polite intros with us all fully clothed paved the way for more flirty conversation, which in turn lead to clothes being shed, and in no time at all the three of were naked on the suede couch. A decent white wine and a couple of Buds also helped to oil the wheels and Geoff's cock, which stood seven inches proud. The poor guy had had no skin on skin sex for 18 months. As you can imagine, the feeling of a tongue then lips around his bell end had him moaning with ecstasy; the three of us just clicked. We were all HUNGRY for one another, and HAPPY for one another. We've often heard stories about escorts who deliberately make a man cum hard and fast so they can bin him off and short time him, even overnights finishing after just a couple of hours, but with us three it was the opposite. We were edging each other to prolong the sexperience. None of us wanted it to end.

Geoff like many guys, felt ready to 'go further' which meant, for him, prolonged oral on Geeze. He also wanted 'anal play' on him, not crude jabbing and insensitive penetration, but instead, really getting his ass worked on and stimulated. Kneading the cheeks of his bottom, applying firm pressure to the perineum and lightly rubbing his anus, while he snogged Minx and fondled her breasts made life 'interesting'. I'm not going to share with you intimate details of the whole three hour tryst, needless to say it was up there with the best sexual experiences money can buy. Exhilarating is the word I'd best use to describe it. As professional escorts we've seen numbers of men running well into four figures over the years, and they've mostly all been within our narrow niche >>> straight(ish) bi-curious men, bisexual men, subs, sissies and cross dressers. Are YOU looking for a special experience you can't arrange easily by yourself close to home? If so, give us a call and we'll do all the work for you and make it happen.
Take care guys, Luv Minx & Geeze aka fun50couple xxx

PS: Check our profile to learn more about these kinds of bookings

Friday, November 29th 2019

Party

Hello Sexy Friends!
Short notice we know, but we're here to tell you about a Party for Bisexual and/or BiCurious Adults on Wednesday December 4th, that's THIS COMING WEEK. Men, Male/Female Couples (where at least one partner is bi), Cross Dressers all welcome, Mature only by which we mean Age 35+ & priority for AW members. Doors open 6-30PM for 7PM start, expected to last about 2 hours, refreshments included. We haven't nailed down which location yet, our home in DL14 or the dungeon playroom up the road, but we expect it'll be the latter.
We've already got some interest, but need more...especially from M/F couples & ladies, so if you want to come, get in touch this weekend (30th/1st December). If you don't drive, don't worry, as we can pick you up from LNER Darlington train station. FYI, it's only about half an hour from Newcastle or York by train, Doncaster & Leeds are also well within the hour. It's an informal do, no pressure, just sexy bi fun. Don't expect huge numbers, it's a first for us despite trying before, however this time we've got more genuine interest and assurances from some people we know that they'll be there, so hopefully it WILL HAPPEN. If you need to stay the night, there's Premier Inns close to both locations. Entry 55GBP for guys, 40GBP for Couples, 20GBP for ladies. We wold love to see you there, YES YOU! (An early Christmas Present to yourself & a Welcome Reprieve from all the shit that's out there just now, agreed?)
Get in touch.

PS: We're touring 6-10th December and fairly booked, however, there's still space on Sunday 8th, LONDON, Incalls close to Hanger Lane, Outcalls to local area, Central London, also Herts/Bucks/Berks/Middlesex/Surrey East

Thursday, October 17th 2019

ELECTRO-FANTASTIC

Well it's happened again. A no show. And on the back of it A-Mind-Blowing-Earth-Shattering-Body-Trembling-Hands-Free-Whole-Body-ORGASM!!! All courtesy of ElectroPebble Power Box + Vyper 2 electro compression device + ElectroWand + Conductive Rubber Loops + Electro Pads + Bobble. Yep, I used all of those over a 90 minute sesh in my office would you believe, which had me literally hanging off my seat in pure ecstasy. Thats about five to six hundred quids worth of kit, but YOU CAN ENJOY A SESSION with OUR EQUIPMENT anytime.

A guy was supposed to turn up for a solo meet with fun50geeze but must have got cold feet, and of course its WAY TOO MUCH to expect a call cancelling the meet. So Geeze got all clean and douched and horneeee....for SFA. So thought turned to the toybox. To cut to the chase, a 90 minute sesh followed...I didn't plan on it being that long, but believe you me, the sensations electrostim can deliver in EXPERIENCED HANDS are TO DIE FOR.

First up was Vyper 2. Vyper 2 is an electro-compression device for the cock with gold plated electro contact pads. It's advertsied as having 'bite' & 'the ultimate in CBT toys' and I agree whole-heartedly. Its designed for a HARD COCK, but a good 'semi' will also do...place penis in between the plates and tighten the wing nuts after applying conductive gel. There's a number of little tricks you pick up over time....rest assured if you book a sesh with either Geeze solo, or Minx & Geeze as a duo, you're in SAFE HANDS. All equipment manufactured by EstimSystems is built to the highest standards, in this country, and conforms to all EU standards, unlike some others I could mention, but won't. I used Vyper in conjunction with my fave glass beaded dildo; it's big and it's curved so it hits the spot (P spot). After a while I replaced the glass with Bobble, a beautifully rounded smooth & curvy mirror polished bipolar electrode which 'slips in easy'. I wired Bobble as a monopole and used one half of Vyper as the other pole. Fantastic. I was shaking & almost crying with emotion; the word FANTASTIC doesn't really begin to descibe the S>E>N>S>A>T>I>O>N. Remember guys, Estim isn't about PAIN, it's about SENSATION; Although you can experience PAIN if thats what you want...different strokes for different folks I guess.

After a while with Bobble, I stepped up to ElectroWand. EWand used to be sold primarily for skin play, but it's also INSERTABLE, and EstimSystems appear to be pushing that side nowadays. The one I used is the Small version, but don't be fooled, even that one is 250mm long (130mm insertable) and a comfy 38mm diameter. Its a monopole electrode so needs to be used with another, such as a pad or loop. I used one side of Vyper, then eventually (almost reluctantly) took Vyper off and replaced it with a conductive loop. I was a little concerned as to how long cock had been compressed...hence the decision to replace with a loop. With ElectroWand fully inserted, and a loop just shy of my bell end, the fun continued. Get it right and the current bridges the prostate and stimulates it to cum....you won't feel it, you'll only feel the sensation at the loop because thats where the biggest point of contact is. I went up and down the modes and got up to full power. In the end I wired two pads, a loop, and electrowand...greedy I know, but FAB FAB & FAB again. A little porn on the big screen also raised the tempo, off came the pads, & I finished off standing, coming hard over the desk. Prior to that I'd had a mixture of precum and milk leaking for the best part of 45 minutes; Guys, the orgasm you get from this stuff is TRULY MIND BLOWING. Come & experience it for yourself with us. It's a bit of an art, so don't rush out and buy one & expect it to deliver right out the box...it takes time & experience. You'll need to book 90 minutes to 'get there' and Estim will be pretty much the only thing you'll do during that time, but it's like it says on the fashion ads...'you're worth it!' ENJOY.

PS: Some dommes advertise Electroplay services, yet they have NEVER USED IT ON THEMSELVES so cannot possibly deliver 'AN ULTIMATE SEXPERIENCE'...because they don't know the ins & outs of it, Be warned. For mild electro-sessions, book #TeesValleyMistress. For wild sessions book us both as a duo or Geeze solo. We're also prepared to train Couples up on the equipment, and all items are available to buy from us discounted & direct. So, if you're the kinda guy who likes to push limits and explore NEW BOUNDARIES, get in touch. If you're outside our home area, then pre-book a meeting & we'll bring the relevant equipment with us on tour or for a Custom Booking, that's all for now folks! Luv Minx & Geeze xx

Thursday, August 15th 2019

UK wide bookings

We've made our 'bespoke bookings' easier for you guys to understand:
Our Local Outcall Area extends from Leeds to Scarborough to Alnwick to Carlisle and back to Leeds. All rates within that area are as published on our page, as are rates for areas as & when we tour. Anywhere outside of those zones we'll come & visit you NEXT DAY or beyond, on a bespoke basis for a flat fee of 499 GBP to include travel, 4*+ hotel accommodation, and a 2.5 hour incall or outcall. For SAME DAY bespoke bookings we can't guarantee to make it, but if you can call between 7AM and 10AM we'll see what we can do. SAME DAY BESPOKE BOOKINGS incur an additional surcharge of 50 GBP to cover costs related to the short notice.

Bespoke bookings are ideal for all you guys who live faraway and don't have QUALITY ESCORT COUPLES within reach and who DON'T TRAVEL MUCH THEMSELVES. We do ALL the arranging and meet somewhere mutually convenient and most importantly DISCREET. A deposit is required for ALL BESPOKE BOOKINGS. This can be made anonymously at any Post Office using a unique barcode we generate for you...ideal for all you married guys with shared bank accounts because NO CREDIT CARD, DEBIT CARD or ID of any kind is required to make payment. Or you can pay by Faster Payment Bank Transfer if you prefer.

How many escort couples give you all this? Custom Bookings ~ Incalls & Outcalls Nationwide ~ At short notice ~ Male is fully Bi not 'pretend bi' or just orally bi ~ Male can play str8 if required ~ She is Full Time escort and Dom ~ Our own Luxury BDSM playroom ~ Double Dom ~ Our own Adult Photo Studio ~ 179+ positive feedback with extensive Field Reports ~ Chem friendly ~ Top rated equipment ~ Sissy Training & Femdom ~ Full Time, so no unreliability issues ~ Nearly a decade's experience as an escort couple ~ You want more? Get in touch via sensible AW message incl intro/wants/needs/times/location #JustDoIt

Thursday, August 8th 2019

Summer 2019

We seem to have skipped a couple of months since the last blog post, though NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS did get published in between. If you're already a subscriber to our 'NVS' UK Escort Couple lifestyle blog and you didn't catch it, check your junk files & search for fun50couple 'Climax came quickly, announced by a sharp exhalation of breath, and a look of horror….'. If you're NOT a subscriber and you'd like to be then join our merry band of sexy readers, just get creative with our name in your browser OK? We've had quite a few folk sign up recently, thanks folks! Work started last week putting it all on to a podcast which we hope will be live by Autumn. Talking of which, we've never known a year fly like this one, with the farmers harvest well under way around here, despite the thunderstorms. Geeze took the opportunity on a couple of occasions to shower naked in the garden, the rain was that torrential. Glorious.

Meanwhile, escort bookings have slowed, markedly so, as people draw in their horns in the face of uncertainty around jobs and finances; one things for certain…we're all going to have to endure many more months if not years of hassle before Brexit is resolved. And we'll believe it when we see it. Halloween? I wouldn't bet on it. July saw us performing in our first pro porn-filmshoot, which unfortunately didn't go to plan. It was a familiar story. Hardly any of the performers who'd pledged to attend turned up, nor did they have the courtesy to contact us directly, choosing instead to hide behind texts and messages to a third party aka the so called producer. We got some half decent footage, yet to be edited of Minx as Mistress Orchid teaching a Manchester escort the subtleties of using a strap-on. Geeze was the lucky and very willing recipient. More domination & strap on action got filmed a fortnight later over two photoshoots with two different togs, one who was known to us and whos done work previously. In the past we've been disappointed with some of the results from photoshoots because we've never looked our best due to extensive travel/tiredness/heavy escorting work. This time we made sure we were relaxed, and we're pleased with what we got. You can see some of the pics in Minx's AdultWork Private Gallery, also on Mistress Orchid's new website coming soon. The playroom is now complete & several visitors have complemented us on its quality and facilities. Geeze enjoyed the project management side of the renovation as well as getting his hands dirty assisting with building the restrooms and the playroom. Sadly, some of the work we paid for ended up being done three times before it was signed off as satisfactory. We still have an expensive sink stained with firestop foam courtesy of the electricians AND a light fitting which took them 3 attempts to fit which still doesn't function as it should, but hey ho, that's modern Britain for you. Most folk demand 'CHEAP' these days, therefore many so-called tradespeople have gotten used to churning out substandard work. We on the other appreciate QUALITY and believe that work 'behind the scenes' needs to be done just as well as work which is seen; an old fashioned approach granted but then a good finish always starts with a sound foundation. A bit like SEX heehee If you're thinking of getting a playroom built for yourself but don't know where to begin, give us a call. We've teamed up with a very reliable and capable Scot, who's experienced in many facets of the renovation trade; In truth there's a lot more to it than painting a room and ordering dungeon equipment…if you're looking for something with a WOW factor anyway. You might need to consider sound-proofing, draught-proofing, lighting & electrics, plumbing, joinery, flooring, all kindsa stuff. Geeze also has 25 years experience in the home improvement industry, so you could do a lot worse than give us a call if you're looking for your own '50 Shades' style playroom. There's no doubt Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele opened the BDSM door to a whole new generation, some of whom have 'progressed' shall we say, into serious players themselves. Bravo!

As usual TIME is our enemy, with web work needing ever more effort, so we're still looking for assistance in the IT department. So, if you're a young web apprentice or a junior developer maybe, living in the North East, we'd like to hear from you with regard to part time work at £15/hour to start. Our offices are close to the main LNER line, so there's easy access if you don't drive, from Newcastle, Gateshead, Durham, York or even Doncaster & Leeds. We've got some fascinating projects on the go, both XXX and vanilla so you'll need an open mind and a 'can-do' attitude. Most of all though the work IS FUN and it's not what you'd call 'run of the mill' is it? Call us if you're interested. Please don't bother if you're a remote worker or agency! We're only interested in local(ish) people.

Touring wise, we're uncertain at the moment. Too many timewasters and no-shows have screwed it for us, with recent trips no more than 'breaking even' which makes no sense; we might as well keep things tight in the North east instead. We're touting a few days in Yorkshire just now, but any overnight stays will need to be underwritten by firm bookings backed by deposits. We've made it VERY EASY to pay deposits since hooking up with a global payment gateway. This organisation enables deposits to be lodged in cash completely anonymously at any Post Office. Once paid, we're notified, and you're good to go and meet us for sexy fun. No debit card, credit card or ID is required…we simply generate a unique barcode for you to present at the counter, Job done. Harrogate, Leeds, Huddersfield and Sheffield are places we have in mind; if you'd like to meet us in any of those locations please get in touch and we'll sort out dates. All stops are at 4* hotels with discreet entry and hassle free parking, close to main Motorway routes.

And finally, we're looking for a mature(ish) sissy/cross dresser to join three of us on August 17th in County Durham. 2-3 hours with most of the fee waived for the right 'girl'. Please call if you'd like it to be YOU That's it for now guys! Thanks for supporting us and hopefully we'll see you sometime soon! #JustDoIt!

Monday, June 24th 2019

What's going on, June/July 2019

Hello sexy friends, from London Heathrow. Completing works on our new dungeon/playroom has kept me away from blogging so I'm a tad late with this update. Sorry! Time flies, with the Summer Solstice last week (21st) not that we're hippy or save-the-planet types, it just reminds you the nights are drawing in again & that means one thing: we're heading for Harvest, Halloween and Christmas!! So, what are we up to? June 27th we're going to Newquay Cornwall ostensibly for a short holiday until 4th July. Can we resist meeting a few horny guys while we're there? NO! So if that's your neck of the woods, OR you're on holiday there and want to slink away from family and experience something a bit different, get in touch. Usual criteria...white Britsh or North American, over 40's only. Last time there in February we met with 'Silver Surfer'and it was a meeting from heaven, talking of which we've had a few like that recently; what we've lacked in quantity (due to the lack of feel good factor out there just now) has been made up for, with Quality Guys booking decent meets. Just what we like, and a welcome change from the 'Hi's' and the 'You workin?' brigade texting us at 2AM in the morning. To those guys...Do you SERIOUSLY THINK we're gonna jump out of bed and drive someplace 40 miles distant when you can't even introduce yourself properly? #rantover.

July 6/7th we're venturing into NEW TERRITORY with a Pro filmshoot in the North East. We've already got a handful of performers booked, but need more as contingency against the inevitable no-shows & cold feet. Are you a wannabe porn performer who happens to be bi-curious, bisexual, sub, or a cross dresser? This could be your lucky break not least because its notoriously difficult to break into this industry if you're a guy. Paul Jones formerly of AIR (Adult Industry Resources) is behind the camera; he is one of the UK's most prolific adult content producers so if you think you can hack it, get in touch rightaway cuz times a'wastin. For sexual scenes you'll need to be Certed, you'll need to sign a Content Release form, and you'll need to TURN UP, OK? Content Share means 'what you're in is what you get to keep', and for the unititiated, it means your footage will be in the public domain aka the interweb, and yes your face WILL BE SHOWN, so No Dreamers! It promises to be a funtime. Our primary aim is to create MMF-BI-DOM/SUB content as well as some SOLO stuff like toying/DIY etc.

Our new playroom is now open. It's taken 5 months to build from scratch more or less, including two new toilets and a rainshower. We've also constructed the beginnings of a film studio, with a chaise longue, interchangeable backgrounds and rudimentary lighting. Over the next year we'll be developing this side of the biz further. Ten years ago I talked about getting a small team together to build bespoke playspaces for people. With 20 years previous experience in the home improvement industry both in installation and sales, plus a healthy interest in sex, it looked like a good proprosition at the time. Fast forward to NOW and I'm activley considering building dungeons for others on the back of the experience gained from building our own. Good reliable tradespeople who are discreet are difficult to find. Though you may think you 'can do a lot of it yourself' the reality is often different, especially when you need multiple trades like joiners, plumbers, electricians, plasterer's, painters, floor-layers and the like. Co-ordinating all these people takes time, patience and an understanding of project management. There appears to be increasing numbers of folk drawn to the world of BDSM, possibly off the back of the Fifty Shades films which sparked interest. I've got two key guys working with me now, so if you're wanting a quality dungeon/playroom-conversion carried out get in touch and we'll see what we can do. I promise you one thing, you wouldn't be disappointed. I'll be creating an album of all the work we've done on our own dungeon so you can see the full extent of our capabilities, watch this space.

You'll probably know we're no longer 'spring chickens' but that doesn't stop us being one of the kinkiest escort couples on the planet, and with age, comes EXPERIENCE, which is always an advantage when it comes to delivering a service. However, there are times when one could do with a boost, or at least, be re-assured there's performance on tap GUARANTEED, especially when a meeting is set to be judged by way of reviews. For that reason, Geeze tests and uses supplements of one kind or another from time to time. Some of you'll know about Zuyosa which is a natural supplement said to boost libido; yep it works, but it's not 100%. It's good for a weekend though...take 4 tabs and I for one have benefited from it. Its effect is quite different to Vi which kicks in within an hour or so, then steadily goes downhill after sex, and it's no use at all on a full stomach. Not so with Zuyosa...the effect isn't so quick or pronounced, it's more of a subtle boost on tap more or less continuously over 2-3 days. It can be difficult to get hold of, not for legal reasons, but because the factory can't keep up with demand. Recently I became aware of a new addition to their line, it's called Zuyosa Alphaboost, and it's a testosterone support supplement with Tribulus Terrestris and Fenugreek. Recommended dosage is 2 tablets twice a day. I've been on them now for about a week, and I felt the benefit within a couple of days. In fact one guy at the weekend remarked about my stamina, which pleased me no end since I'm 5 years his senior! I'm not trying to boast, I'm just thinking of all the guys out there who have trouble maintaining an erection who can't or won't take Vi. We see those kinda men often so don't laugh and don't say it won't happen to you! It can hit you anytime, particularly if you're stressed out, or feeling low in a relationship or family situation. So guys, first impressions of AlphaBoost are favorable. I'll review it again at the end of the 15 days (60 capsules). Minx keeps asking me if there's one for ladies...the short answer is YES THERE IS; we'll be reviewing those too over the coming months as we re-vamp and re-develop our online store.

And finally: You wanna know about the latest hot meet right? Well guys, you'll need to subscribe to our well known sexblog for the full fly on the wall narrative I'm afraid! We're trying to decide which meets to share with you just now. One guy we've seen 35 times (or is it 36? I dinnae ken) with every single meet different...and HOT. But the last time surpassed all expectations, it just exploded more or less from the start, & lasted a good 2 hours. I think our friendship has become a relationship almost, truly wonderful, with all 3 of us feeling 'a need', a kind of pull, to re-unite each month, long may it continue. Then there was another meet with a Bubble (a Greek in case you don't know, from 'bubble & squeak'). The guy made an apppointment with us under false pretences claiming to be bicurious when in reality he wanted nothing more than voyeurism. He got a shock. All you need to do is put our handle in your browser, and you'll see straightaway how and where you can read about our sexy and TRUE encounters (only the names and locations have been changed to protect anonimities), Enjoy. Until next time, have fun, safe sex always and Know you Status, Luv, Minx & Geeze aka fun50couple xx

Friday, May 3rd 2019

Outcall discounts & a new playroom in the North

Hello Sexy Friends!

We've had another manic month, busy building our new playroom in between meetings with clients old and new. A business trip to London didn't quite go as planned but it did allow us to fit in more sex, AND as the weather was hot, Geeze took the plunge, literally, water-skiing on a lake near London. It was the first time for 12 years, and truly EXHILARATING, though it took a couple of attempts to get up, but once going it was Zoom Zoom Zoom up n down the slalom course. Classic water-skiing in the UK has faded in popularity over recent years as wake-boarding has taken over; one of the reasons is that 'boarding can be done from cables which are a lot more profitable for the operators than running V8 ski-boats. There remains a core of die hard enthusiasts though; the club I went to had two competition boats, tranquil waters, a very comfy clubhouse & it was inside the M25! It's the ONLY activity I've ever found that clears my mind & restores the Feel-Good-Factor. After a 15 minute workout behind the boat, every fibre of one's body & soul feels like it's singing. If you've ever fancied a go, #JustDoIt you won't regret it.

Back in the North East last weekend we built up a bondage bed, a spanking/f*cking bench and a low bench in the playroom, and now we've just got anciliary equipment and some bespoke furniture to instal before it's good to go. Mickie, the proprietor of 'dungeonkit' in Manchester is a veteran when it comes to the BDSM scene, and he reckons our new facility is second to none in the North East. Minx, rebranding as Mistress Orchid, will be offering Tie n Tease & E-stim sessions from there soon, but you'll need to be an established AW member and/or known to us to go there; Not a member? No problem, because she'll gladly see you for a first time at the usual location.

For the month of May we're in County Durham most of the time. We frequently outcall to homes & hotels in Darlington, Durham & Newcastle, however for some strange reason we're off the radar when it comes to the eastern side of our Local Area. So guys, for a limited period we're offering £20 off Sunderland, Hartlepool, Middlesbrough, Stockton & Yarm escort outcalls. If it's an evening meeting you're after please try & call before 6PM for a meet the SAME EVENING. Latest start time is 10PM.

Wednesday 22nd May thru to Saturday the 25th we're back in LONDON at Wembley Park available daily from early until late for Incalls/London Escort Outcalls. Location is close to Met & Jubilee Line tube; If you're coming from town via the Jubilee line hop off the train at Finchley Road & cross the platform to the Met line for a faster service. Nipping out to see us over an 'extended lunch' is definitely do-able from the City. If you're coming by car, we're close to the North Circular & there's free parking.

[b[Sunday 26th May[/b] we're in Wellingborough, Northants, so if you're looking for sexy fun over the Spring Bank Holiday Weekend we're AVAILABLE that evening ONLY from around 7PM until late.

That's it for now guys! Stay safe, Luv fun50couple xxx

Friday, April 5th 2019

What's going on, April 2019

Hello Sexy Friends

It’s April, but we’re not done with Winter yet after a week of snow, hail & ice up here in the North East. So we’re looking forward to being back in London next Friday 12th April for 8 days. Geeze is training in the Liverpool Street area for the duration, but we’ll be working incalls (W3) and outcalls as a couple, evenings from 6PM. Sunday 13th April and Good Friday 18th April we’re available all day as a couple; the days when Geeze is away, Minx will be working solo for AdultWork members, incalls only, no outcalls.

Work on our new playroom, dungeon & private studio has kept us away from the Capital this past month. It’s several miles away from our County Durham home location and we’re about 70% of the way through construction. The playspace is scheduled to open early May. The dungeon & studio will follow. We’re installing a 4 poster bondage bed with sling and pendulum, stocks, low bondage bench, & a whipping/f*cking bench, complimented by a French Gothic style Lion Throne Chair and matching Belgravia Style Dresser with Stool. The latter piece will be home to make-up/wigs/display mannequins etc for feminisation;

We’ve visited many BDSM dungeons & so called playrooms in our time, and few of them have much to offer in the way of modern creature comforts. One such establishment has 6 doms working out of it and, wait for it…no shower! So, we’ve demolished the building’s former 1980s style toilets and replaced them with a luxury shower room & separate WC. And there’s more, lots more, but you’ll have to book an appointment if you wanna see it. It’s only available to established AdultWork members &/or people we know or have seen before for discretionary reasons. You definitely WON’T be disappointed. Minx has invested in new leather and latex outfits too, custom made & colour co-ordinated to match the playspace decor, as well as new ‘police style’ boots. So as you can imagine we’ve been busy-busy.

Procurement of the BDSM furniture took us to suppliers’ showrooms in Manchester, Warwick & Cornwall; it was a whirlwind of a trip over a long weekend in February. We posted tour details and were rewarded with several meets, two of which were very full-on; guys who’d never been with a couple before. The best was a chap we’ll call Silver Surfer, some-one who is resident there and whose life revolved around ‘catching waves’. Sixty five years old and short in stature he had the ideal build for a surfer, or maybe the surf had built him, I don’t know, cuz he’d been doing it for decades. He hadn’t been a punter for decades though. As is often the case with guys his age, bi-curiosity finally got the better of him and he called to introduce himself and request a 3 hour outcall. A short while later we were headed towards his pad, which turned out to be a luxury abode, literally a stones throw from the Atlantic Ocean. Fifty to sixty surfers were clearly visible, riding the waves, yep, in February. It wasn’t very long before all three of us were naked and romping on the bed; he was VERY WELL ENDOWED and at least 9 inches, squeaky clean too, sweet enough for Geeze to go all the way with a serious & passionate rimming, tongue right in, while Silver Surfer explored Minx’s pussy. She was gushing in no time, another first for our lovely client, but his #1 wish was to be f*cked. He warned us that he was ultra tight, but varying sizes of toys did the trick, opening him up gently. Geeze used an anal lube with de-sensitiser, recommended sometimes for Newbies but SS would have none of it, demanding it to be removed! He 'wanted to feel EVERYTHING and to savor it', from tonguing, fingering and eventually full penetration as he positioned himself as ‘jam in the sandwich’. It was truly a meeting to die for, the kind of situation you think for a split second how lucky you are while it’s happening to you: A>M>A>Z>I>N>G. We’ve never been to Cornwall in the Summer, but we’ve booked a week there in June, Can’t wait.

So that’s it for now guys! Get in touch if you wanna have fun with us, but please remember to read the profile first before calling. A lot of guys ‘bookmark’ our page then they don’t see our current availability, & don't know whether we’re in London or the North. The profile get’s tweaked & updated daily, so it’s always best to check it out especially the opening header b4 getting in touch. Thanks guys! Seeya! xxx

Sunday, December 30th 2018

Shocking News at the end of 2018, Read more...

Hello Sexy Friends! So, we come to the end of another year! December has been a cruel month for us with Minx battling illness forcing us to cut short two visits to London and head back home. It all started with a flu jab and looks like an adverse reaction…now, 5 weeks on she’s on the mend thankfully after a double whammy of anti-biotics so here’s hoping we kick the New Year off with a bang, or preferably several, as we’re back in London from New Year’s Day.

I’ve got a million things I wanna tell you about, however, I know some of you find those 6000 word mega blogs (News Views n Screws) daunting so I guess I’ll have to drip feed the subject matter over the course of a few posts during January time permitting.
Electrosex is something we got into around a couple of years ago, and to be honest the first time I tried it I was disappointed…something worth bearing in mind when clients book an appointment to experience it. Every cloud has a silver lining, and whilst Minx has been laid up sick, I, Geeze have been desperately horny. So, in the absence of regular MMF action and (unusually) no single bi-curious men or MF couples wanting meets with me solo, I’ve been ‘forced’ so to speak to seek thrills and to push limits on my own. And at long last, I’ve achieved the Holy Grail of Male Orgasms, IE, hands free whole body climaxes and not once, but twice.

Many of you who have met me know how ‘enthusiastic’ I can be, and I’ve been described on more than one occasion as a ‘human dynamo’, a bit of a double edged sword I have to say. Why? Because ‘quick’ is my middle name...an always busy-busy ‘all or nothing’ kinda guy who ‘gets stuff done’ however, when it comes to the kinda sexual activity I’m talking about here, it takes a disciplined & somewhat measured approach, all calm and relaxed like. I’m not talking about all that yoga, meditation & hippy crap...I’m just saying that I seldom have the luxury of TIME to MYSELF. So on two occasions recently, lying horny in bed and unable to sleep, brain still going 100mph, I felt compelled to do something! Having experienced ever better sensations over the course of the last year while using E’stim’s ElectroPebble, I thought I’d experiment further and see where it took me. I lay in total darkness and got right under the duvet...ElectroPebble has bright blue control lights, sufficiently illuminating my cosy ‘man-cave’ so I could see what I was doing. I’d bought a Premium Bobble type electrode a couple of months back purely for my own personal use...It’s bigger than their Flange electrode, beautifully finished in polished aircraft grade aluminium, and it had adorned the top of Minx’s work drawers for weeks like some kind of art nouvelle sculptured ornament. So I was quite excited at the prospect of inserting it, but knew I’d have to be careful cuz without a flange, these types of toys can get ‘lost’ even though their attached to one or two cables, one has to be cautious.

Bobble is a bi-polar electrode which means you’ve got two wires in, one delivers a pulse up the middle to the tip, the other to lower section of the probe. You see, what you’re doing with electroplay is using current to stimulate nerves. Electro-Pebble isn’t about pain, it’s about sensation, nevertheless it’s ‘baby steps’, something that has to be bourne in mind, if you’re a potential client who wants to experience this kind of thing and to get maximum benefit from it. I often learn through reading & conversations with clients about instances where people have suffered pain and discomfort from inexperienced doms using electro-play equipment; it’s not all about whacking the current up to the max and frightening a sub into submission, though some would want that for sure. Most of these doms have NEVER USED it on themselves, so can’t ever hope to get the best out of the equipment, which is a shame, because in the right hands, it’s mind-blowing. That’s the reason I got disappointed the first time I used it. I’d expected it to harden my flaccid penis and give me a massive orgasm right out of the box! I’d seen video reviews enthusing over the sheer joy electrostim can deliver...so what was it I wasn’t doing but these guys were?

It’s the P word. No not P for ‘Prostate’ lol but P for PATIENCE! You see alone in bed, I had all the time in the World. The first time I was at it for TWO HOURS…time just slipped by. I started with Bobble fully inserted connected as a bi-polar; I already knew from previous sessions with the flange the sensations are to die for, but never quite enough. There had to be a way to find more. You see, you have to get comfy with it, settle down to a particular setting and a kind of rhythm sets in, not immediately but after a few minutes. There’s also a tantalising ‘background wave’ very similar to the kind of feeling you get about 15 seconds before cumming except this wave is there ‘on demand’. So this night was very different to previous occasions, in that I gave it time to settle and got into the vibe. So much so, that I found myself increasing the power, step by step, eventually to the max. Once there I played with the Mode Adjustment as it too can affect sensation wildly. ElectroPebble has 9 different modes, so you’re probably beginning to see why it had me hooked for two hours.

Using the bi-polar plug alone is good, but introducing another electrode to a different part of the body, removing one wire from the probe and attaching it to the second point of contact takes things a stage further. ‘Electrode’ sounds a bit frightening and a bit Frankinsteinish...fear not, it’s just the word used to describe loops, wheels, plugs, pads, wands etc. So with a single wire to each, you’re turning them into mono-poles, putting current in and picking it up again with the other; Electricity is lazy and takes the shortest/easiest route, so get it right and you can bridge the P-spot with the current, stimulating it all the while, but GET THIS: You won’t feel the P-massage since the biggest area of contact on the body is from the second electrode in this case a cock loop, so that’s where you feel most sensation. And by God, what SENSATION it is. For two years I’ve used E-stim and NEVER got to this level...Lying under the duvet, my body & soul turned on to the max and HOT...you know...that SEXUAL HEAT, knees drawn up to chest, control box lying beside me so I was able to adjust whenever, and sensations so INTENSE they had me grabbing the sheet & mattress. It’s so intense you grip, but then you adjust to it and you want more and so you take it up another step and grip again. Then the magic started to happen. Experienced anal players will often tell you the time to keep going is the time you think you should stop. Double Dutch? Not really, cuz very often anal makes one’s cock go soft, but then you get to a stage where you start to get super turned on. It’s something we’ve noticed when fisting...intense stimulation kicks in and THINGS HAPPEN. It’s the same when experiencing strap-on sex. So when I talk about magic, I’m telling you I felt stirrings down below. The cock loop was quite tight and more so as I ‘grew’, my semi-erect member pushing the wires aside on its way to full hardness. Well nearly full...I no longer cared. I was now feeling that GLORIOUS sensation you get close to orgasm when you’re not quite there, BUT it was strong enough for me to know it was GUARANTEED in it’s own good time. That’s one of the beauties of E-stim...you can control it and finely too, so you can prolong the feeling. At no time was my hand anywhere near my cock. I was enthralled by what was happening; it’s what I had always expected was possible but had begun to think was something that would elude me. I’d never got there before due to lack of time and patience. Then the cum came, heavy bursts followed by a steady gentle stream. It just kinda kept on going. For a half minute or so I reflected on stuff I’d heard about continuous orgasms and wondered if this was it. My body shook hard, this was GOOD and OMG GOOD and more. And then I switched it off. I’d had enough. I almost surprised myself, why wouldn’t I wanna go on and on? I felt totally satisfied, tired, elated, happy, drugged almost...just what really powerful SEX can do to you, and a feeling many of us to be honest have forgotten about in the fullness of time, after hundreds of sexual encounters albeit it GOOD but short of MIND-BLOWING.

So there you have it guys, a hands free full body orgasm and an experience worth many times the money you’ll pay for it I can assure you. A two hour sesh, an open mind and an ability to relax and to not EXPECT ANYTHING is what’s required. Just adopt a ‘go with the flow’ attitude and you may get there, on the other hand, you may not. It’s not guaranteed, since electroplay affects different people in different ways. We’re changing the way we conduct (lol no pun intended) e-stim sessions to help give you the best chance of ‘getting there’; As always, just send us a decent email and we’ll take it from there. Remember, sending us a message along the lines of ‘Yous avalable [sic]?’ ain’t going to cut it, nor are endless silly texts asking us about stuff clearly written in the profile! And guys, how many times do we have to remind you...we’re not being awkward acting cagey on the phone about services, fees and locations.. there are legal implications to us working as a couple that don’t apply to solo escorts OK? Invariably the guys we meet have all done one thing. They’ve communicated sensibly and effectively cuz you know what? That’s how you get great sex. It’s all about communication and especially true when introducing newcomers to the joys of electroplay, or strap-on, or forced bi, or submission, or cross-dressing, mmmmm, but that’s another story.

Stay tuned guys...I’m bringing you another blog shortly about corporal punishment; its history, my own experiences of it at public school, and grand plans we already have in motion to introduce Role Play Extraordinaires in a Headmaster’s Study witnessed (as the rule book requires) and signed off by the school Matron. If you’re aged 50+ and attended school in the 70’s you’ll know what we’re talking about it, and some of you we know, will want to re-visit it. More soon. Happy New Year guys! Luv, fun50couple xxx

Friday, November 2nd 2018

November Update

We’ve had a brutal couple of weeks with NO-SHOWS we’re sorry to report…even guys who’ve booked through AdultWork have not turned up. So, do we give them bad feedback?…Errr no, we don’t waste our time, besides some of their kind turn the tables and fabricate false reports so we just block them, flag their numbers, share details with other service providers and move on. It’s a problem we all face in our industry & sadly, it seems to be getting worse. For that reason we’re re-considering our options & not posting any fixed dates for availability in specific areas at the moment. If, however, you’re a horny mature guy who’s always ‘wondered’ what it might be like to experience hot threeway fun, then ‘wonder’ no more. If you’re genuinely wanting to meet then please don’t hesitate to get in touch… and if it so happens that Geeze answers the phone instead of Minx don’t just hang up! We ARE a couple after all and if you haven’t the balls to talk to a man on the phone then there’s not much chance of you turning up is there!?!? Don’t leave it till the last minute…Pre-booking is advised and if you’re not a member of AdultWork, then we may need a deposit for outcalls. Over 40’s only, BiCurious, Bisexual, CD’s, Subs and the odd straight man looking for an MFM all welcome, whether newbies or experienced players. Incalls and outcalls available. If it’s Minx you want to meet with solo, then check out her own AdultWork profile. (link on our page) If we’re not at home in the North East, then we’re in London. Outside those areas?…then we’re more than happy to visit you on a BESPOKE BOOKING basis. What does that mean? It means we’ll book a hotel close to your preferred location and either you come to us as an incall or we come to you as an escort outcall. Only a day’s notice is normally required. Typically, a 500 mile round-trip including luxury hotel and a meeting up to 2.5 hours or 4 hours if its a dinner date, starts at £550. (Standard rates for our time start from just £100) There are some escort couples who charge more than that just for a two and a half hour local booking! And remember guys, we are two fully experienced escorts, not just a female escort with a male sidekick who just stands and watches, and who is seldom genuinely bisexual. We’ve heard countless horror stories about poor experiences…you only need to check out our (154) AdultWork feedback to see we are GENUINE and that WE DELIVER THE GOODS. Stay tuned for more tour dates and availability coming soon once we’ve tweaked operational arrangements.

PLEASE NOTE: we don’t see couples ‘as a couple’ though Geeze often works solo and will meet with M/F couples over the age of 40 seeking the company of a fully bisexual male, incalls or outcall, please call for a rate. He’ll also see single males over the age of 30. (See North East profile fun50geeze on Gayswap, the sister site to AW, accessed via tab above)

PS: Worried about visiting us in a hotel? Don’t be. If you’ve had a ‘bad experience’ or ‘nearly been caught’ then that usually means you’ve been dealing with amateurs. All our locations are discreet and at most of the establishments we have the managment sussed and feeding out of our hands (so to speak) primed with ‘mis-information’, so don’t be worrying. #JustDoIt, Call now and Let’s have Fun!

Thursday, September 13th 2018

BiSexual Awareness Week 23rd-30th September 2018

Did you now that Sunday September 23rd is Bi Visibility Day and marks the beginning of Bisexual Awareness Week? It’s a subject close to our hearts with Geeze fully bi and Minx straight. Mind, it’s acknowledged by many that there’s no such thing as 100% straight, or 100% gay for that matter. Some of you will have ‘taken the test’ no doubt via our NVS newsletter which included a Klein Sexuality Grid back in January...it’s an accurate way of determining where you are on the sexuality scale. You see guys, most of us are at different spots on the scale at different times of our lives….it’s something we see on a daily basis as fun50couple. Many people including ourselves are on a ‘sexual journey’, even those with no apparent interest at all are likely to experience change over time, its just the way it is. Being bisexual or ‘curious’ isn’t a stop on the way to GayTown and it isn’t usually a phase;

Many men have different ideas as to what being bisexual means. A good proportion think that ANY interest in ‘same sex desire’ means you’re automatically gay; which is utter rubbish. That’s an attitude stemming from peer pressure and out of date attitudes as to ‘what being a man’ is supposed to mean. In reality it just shows that you’re a sex positive person and open-minded. ‘Sex positive’ is defined as "an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, encouraging sexual pleasure and experimentation." There’s some excellent content on the ISSM site (International Society for Sexual Medicine) home page listing the common traits of sex positive people, take a look! Geeze is one of them and has been since childhood. Closeted for many years as are most married men, life changed dramatically over a decade ago after he’d settled down with Minx. Though straight herself, Minx’s love was unconditional, allowing Geeze to live his ‘authentic self’ without fear of rejection or reprisal...in short, Minx ‘gets it’. And it gets better, for Minx is often very turned on by it, frequently cumming profusely while actively encouraging two men before joining in herself. So very many of our clients are envious of our relationship since they themselves feel trapped and resigned to ‘living a lie’. Vanilla sex just isn’t enough for them. And that’s a shame, because it can cause so much emotional pain…you’ll probably have heard the famous quote ‘there’s no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you’ {Maya Angelou}. Communication is EVERYTHING in any relationship, and GREAT SEX simply can’t happen without it. Most bisexual people will tell you that once they’re ‘out’ with their partner, sex and love goes from strength to strength, rarely is it a deal breaker.

What does it feel like to be bisexual you might wonder? Well, I guess its different strokes for different folks. Some people define bisexuality as ‘any interest or attraction to same gender, including non sexual’. Your best bet is to jump on the Klein Sexuality Grid we mentioned earlier...there are some excellent questions there which you should give your first gut reaction to when answering…..that way you’ll get a true indication of where you are on the scale. Don’t cheat! Live with the first result….by all means re-visit it occasionally; you might be surprised where you are next time you take the test. Some go up, so go down. Geeze has always been attracted to both sexes to a degree, and is fully versatile. Many guys seek same sex fun but don’t want to go further than watching, or touching, or oral. Some will go ‘all the way’ and never look back. Some will dismiss it as a bucket list fantasy and never re-visit it. Some will ‘do it’ and then get a massive guilt trip…and subsequently find themselves back for more several month’s later…in an effort to satisfy an ‘itch’. Sexuality is something you CAN’T CONTROL, just go with it guys and don’t fight it. You’ll be a better and more fulfilled person for it. Around the World, there’s a growing interest in ‘sexual wellness’. Men and Women are beginning to realise that an ability to embrace sexuality, and to be comfortable with it rather than hiding it away, is an important factor in overall health.

It’s reckoned that around four times as many people identify (albeit it many privately) as bicurious/bisexual as there are numbers who identify as gay. Are YOU one of those guys ‘bearing an untold story inside you’? Bisexual/Curious men are our niche, Don’t be shy, and don’t whatever you do continue to go through life ‘wondering’.
Until next time, Have fun, Safe Sex Always, Luv, fun50couple xx

BISEXUAL VISIBILITY DAY September 23rd ~ BISEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK 23rd - 30th Septemner 2018

Tuesday, September 4th 2018

NEWS & VIEWS, Autumn 2018

Hello Sexy Friends!
Its #BackToSchool today (Monday/Tuesday) for most, and we're fired up for the Autumn and the run up to Christmas; what about you? Is it a time of year you LOVE, or is it the time of year you LOATHE? September to the year end is the period when most economic activity takes place here in the UK; people are flying about on business, there's a palpable 'feel good factor' in the air, though it has to be said there are others striving to meet targets with some of them more than a little worried they've only got 4 months to pull things round. If you're the kind of business that isn't so much seasonal and you've not been hitting the numbers then DON'T PANIC, as steady consistent effort on a daily basis will usually bring in the goods...EVENTUALLY. Which is a great bridge for what this NEWS & VIEWS is all about.

Our popular national sexblog NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS has been suspended as a result of a lot of soul searching following EROTICON in March. Eroticon is an annual conference for erotic writers held in London, and Geeze attended this year along with several hundred others who pen erotica and/or work in erotic publishing. NVS was originally launched as a blog about our exploits as an escort couple...it was a bit of fun and helped to connect us to like minded souls, aka sex positive people, mainly in the 40+ age bracket. Its secondary function was to promote awareness of our adult e-com shop. We can't escort for ever, and fun-five-0 started out as a ten year project to build a store designed to help middle aged and older men find products relevant to them, particularly those which addressed SEXUAL PERFORMANCE problems. We figured that our years of experience in the bedroom playing with mature men would stand us in good stead when it came to offering solutions to this group. What we DIDN'T EXPECT was hostility from many towards us because we work in the oldest profession. NOR did we foresee that Joe Average aged 42+ isn't on Social Media of any kind and doesn't routinely shop online. And we didn't reckon on a FLOODED MARKET-PLACE for SEX TOYS dominated by 2-3 big players, which means incredibly, that we can now buy many products from THEM cheaper than we can buy them from our ADULT TOY WHOLESALER. These three factors along with what Geeze took away from Eroticon have been the reason we've paused our promotional efforts over the Summer. Then, there is the Digital Economy Act with Age Verification imposed on anyone wanting to browse anything even mildly pornographic, from early 2019. On top of that, most of you will know that the Yanks shut down internet escorting OVERNIGHT with their knee-jerk and ill conceived FOSTA-SESTA legislation back in the Spring. We forecast back then that our own Authorities would jump on the bandwagon and sure enough, Bristol University have been tasked with researching the online escort business by the Government. We ourselves contributed to the University's questionnaire, and we'd like to think they will conduct a fair investigation of our trade, free from interference by the Establishment but we doubt that will happen. And even if it does, I can guarantee the Government won't take much notice of it, so I forecast a copycat FOSTA over here in the UK, gold-plated. What else can we expect from an administration run by a vicar's daughter by all accounts a control freak, propped up by religious zealots aka the DUP? So what about Corbyn I hear you ask? Well, no good news there either I'm afraid cuz he's done a U turn. No surprise there hey?

Formerly sympathetic towards our cause, he too now wants to shut us down. Music to the ears of the third wave feminists who lend their support to a total ban on internet escorting...they are intent on 'removing demand' apparently. Do these people REALLY THINK they can shut down the oldest profession, and control people's primal instincts? (You'll note I said 'people' because more and more women nowadays are seeking service providers to satisfy needs & desires) We escorts/courtesans SHALL prevail, even if it means we move back underground. (or more likely use offshore sites, VPNs and/or the DARK WEB otherwise known as the Tor Project. The current political landscape along with generations polarised the way they are with no middle ground in sight, looks set to prevail for some years to come; sad really after we'd all come so far in recent years with liberalisation of so much in the World of Sex and Relationships. (As an aside, did you know that the Scottish Government intends to ban strip joints, because they deem them a 'psychological attack on women'. They ignore the performer's human right to do with their body what they like...a lot of those girls LOVE their job as do we as ESCORTS. Neither they or us see ourselves as victims in any shape or form)

But I digress. The word 'EVENTUALLY' was the one I wanted to talk about if you remember

We have a reputation for messing with things until we can make them work and not giving up. The sex trade has been good to us and we KNOW a damn sight more than most about it. Not as much as some but good enough reason for us to continue to ply our trade. We've gone back to basics and asked the question 'How can we best help and serve the needs of our niche?' How can we make any money out of it in such a cut throat market-place? Buoyed up by our success in promoting fun50couple over the years and helped by significant investment in competitor research software, we've now mapped out a better way (we think) to achieve our e-commerce goals.

So guys, NEWS & VIEWS (2/3 of NEWS VIEWS & SCREWS and formerly accessed via FREE SUBSCRIPTION through our own site) is now in the public domain, with an abridged version here on AdultWork. 'SCREWS' are being copied on to Audio Files in the shape of Podcasts so if you don't like reading or don't have the time, you can now enjoy our XXX tales of escort life via Audio. Imagine listening to our exploits while on public transport going to work, out jogging, or on a long car journey perhaps. We think you'll be stopping for some relief on the way and we think you'll really like it. We're working now on making it happen; expect it to be all hooked up with some NEW CONTENT added by November.

GEN-SEX our sexual wellness blog is being scrapped; Yeah I know, its barely started, but the problem is, the name includes the three dreaded letters, S, E and X...all BIG no-no's for the pious twats in SoCal who run the World these days. Nothing wrong with the concept though, so look out for a brand new offering soon; Right now, we're getting domains and sites sorted out; it's something we're VERY EXCITED about and we're trusting our gut and deep knowledge of our trade on this one. Crossed fingers.

Other news: We've got 2 or 3 slots available for meetings in London E14, November 2nd/3rd/5th...for discerning mature gents only at a luxury hotel close to Canary Wharf Tube. Call to book, but please note, a deposit WILL be required to underwrite your booking. Deposits can be paid by Faster Payment transfer or by cash into a machine at a bank.

We continue to invest heavily in New Equipment; recent additions have been Vypr2 for cock compression as in CBT, ElectroWhisker & Electrowands for surface electroplay...the Electrowand is also suitable for insertion, if you dare. We've recently been playing around more with E-stim ourselves, and believe me, some of the sensations we're getting the kit to deliver are TO DIE FOR. Practise makes Purrfect! Its different strokes for different folks though...it's not until you wire some-one up that we know what effects it will have on them, rest assured though, ALL our kit is from respected UK manufacturer E-STIM, it's CE marked and conforms to all relevant regs, so what are you waiting for, Call for an appointment, the number's on our page

Chastity and sissy play are also areas we're focusing on more these days, partly because we enjoy those kind of meets so much ourselves. We've started a collection of sissy-wear including PVC outfits, stockings, Oxford heels, and we have new wigs on order. Minx is a dab hand at feminisation; Geeze stays out of the room while she performs the transformations and is routinely A>M>A>Z>E>D at the results. For hard core subs, we've added premium leather hoods. If you want us to order kit for you on your behalf, receive the delivery, and store it for your use in the future, then we are glad to do so for a small fee. Then there's key-holding, new territory for us, but we're no different from many of our clients, & on a sexual journey ourselves; it too will be on the Menu come the Autumn; Right now we're saving for a couple of CB6000 chastity cages. We meet several subs who already use their own so it's a natural progression to be able to offer them ourselves to new players; We'll let you know when we're up to speed with them;

And finally, many of you know we've been interested in opening a dungeon/professional playroom for nearly a decade. Those plans have moved a teeny-weeny bit closer to fruition lately; early days just now, but we're more than HOPEFUL. All good things come to those who wait! ( A bit like an orgasm to a caged subby I suppose heehee

) Until next time, be good, safe sex always, Luv, fun50couple xx