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| Tuesday, March 23rd 2021 |
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| The travel ban! |
Aaargh! I don’t even know what to say any more. The sense of new found freedom I felt when I had the vaccination has all but evaporated. It’s almost a guarantee for increasing unrest - frustrated people trashing their own country to vent. Sigh....
On the upside, more and more of my regular guests are getting in touch to report that they’ve had the vaccine.
Granted, there are worse places to be trapped in than London in the spring. The beauty of Central London, the blessing that is deliveroo, and restaurants and hairdressers reopening on April 12 are keeping me from flipping my lid.
Waiting, waiting, and waiting some more... |
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| Sunday, January 24th 2021 |
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| Baffled and confused |
I have now been pretty much unemployed due to social distancing for the best part of a year. We all know why - because of a virus that kills about 0.5% of the people it infects. The rest have no symptoms or mild symptoms, for some people it’s really unpleasant, and they take a long time to get back to normal. Here in Europe, whole countries have been shut down, to the detriment of economies, education, non-Covid health care and mental health, not to mention people locked down with domestic abusers. So far, so understandable.
What I cannot fathom is why it’s ok for 7 million people worldwide to die each year of smoking related illnesses without tobacco plantations being ploughed under, and Philip Morris and BATs having to shut their factories. Ok, so people could choose to stop smoking, but I still think there’s something not quite proportionate. Since the Millenium celebrations, that’s 140 million people dead globally due to the tobacco industry.
I promise not to mention the C word again, since we’re all fed up to the back teeth with it. |
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| Monday, November 2nd 2020 |
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| November Update |
Lockdown hasn’t started yet, and my sex chat line has been ringing since 7 am. I love phone sex, particularly the taboos.
Here in Germany, lockdown lite starts today, with restaurants and bars closing. Until I can get to London in December, that means 5 weeks of home cooking. Just appalling. London at least has deliveroo, which is one of the wonders of the world.
Here in the village the only deliveries are cardboard pizza, and gristly sex change off cuts with raw onion from the kebab place. Shoot me now!
I hope the lockdown doesn’t get extended. It’s way too late to control the virus, and locking down is just about not overwhelming the NHS. Maybe this time the Nightingale Hospitals actually get used. Piss-ups and breweries come to mind.
Anyway, back in London and reunited with my gorgeous patrons very soon. Keep your peckers up. Xx |
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| Sunday, June 21st 2020 |
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| Finally! |
As the pandemic nightmare slowly recedes, I’m taking stock a bit. Disappointed in myself, to be honest. When I flew home to Germany in the middle of March to a fortnight of quarantine and three months of lockdown, I promised myself to use this time to become fluent in Italian. Did I? Hell no - I seem to have re-emerged with a brain the size of a walnut instead.
I did heaps of cooking, though, and now make the best lemon linguine this side of Amalfi. My Capri trip had to be postponed to September - no matter, the sea will be much warmer.
What else was positive about lockdown? My hair is longer, and I rather like it. I have formulated a plan for my future and eventual retirement, which is brilliant. I have experienced financial and emotional support from people who didn’t owe me any, mostly from men where I least expected it. After years on the coal face of the sex industry other humans still have the capacity to surprise me.
Maybe we’ll all be ready to come out from behind the sofa soon. Here’s hoping xx |
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| Thursday, April 23rd 2020 |
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| I hope you’re bearing up, guys and girls |
Next summer I’ll be sitting on my roof terrace with a glass or three of wine, reminiscing about the surreal and distressing times we were all forced to live through. I’m currently working on my Spotify Covid playlist:
When will I see you again
The winds of change
Don’t stand too close to me
Feeling hot hot hot
You give me fever
Tougher than the rest
Last to die
Any more suggestions?
I have not heard from a couple of my favourite patrons since I left London nearly 6 weeks ago. I’d really love to get a brief message from you so I know you’re ok (you probably know who you are).
Apologies for the dark humour - it helps me cope. Look after yourselves, until we meet again. |
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| Wednesday, December 18th 2019 |
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| Merry Christmas everyone |
My last ‘work evening’ of the year was a quiet one, curled up with a Margherita Pizza from Da Michele up the road (the best Pizza outside of Naples), watching Margin Call.
Now in the process of packing to get my flight home to Germany, and the quiet of the countryside for some R&R, before the whirl starts again with a trip to Geneva early in the new year.
For some reason I’m absurdly optimistic about 2020 - we’ll see. I was lucky enough to meet some interesting, funny and kind people in the last year, as well as a sprinkling of spectacularly sexy men. Hoping for more of the same for the coming year. Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season, and a spectacular year ahead. |
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| Friday, September 6th 2019 |
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| If you are calling for an appointment... |
please make it easy for me to give you one (appointment, that is). This blog post was prompted by a slightly unpleasant exchange I had this morning.
By the time you call me, you know quite a lot about me, if you have taken the time and trouble to read my profile and reviews. I, on the other hand, know bugger all about you if you are a potential new client. Furthermore, a date with an escort is not an automatic entitlement.
Most days, I have a booking or two with repeat patrons, and am looking to pad out my diary with one more appointment, maybe even two if I’m full of beans. Particularly when I am featured on adultwork, I get to field somewhere between 25 and 40 new enquiries in the course of a day. Out of those, I will try to choose the most personable, sensible and charming man I can, for reasons I hardly need to explain. Put yourselves in my shoes for a moment, and picture the following phone conversations:
Phone: ring, ring
Me: hello!
Man: Are you free?
Me: When?
Man: Today
alternatively:
Phone: ring, ring
Me: hello!
Man: Hello, my name is Martin. We haven’t met, but I saw your ad on AW. I was wondering if I could book an hour’s GFE at around 3 pm.
Guess who got the appointment? Man no. 1 got shirty with me when I asked him to contact me via AW, so I can see his reviews. He told me I was being ‘judgmental’ as though that’s a bad thing when I’m about to give my address to a random stranger. After a couple of cross follow up texts from him I felt I had dodged a bullet.
A nice telephone manner, and some basic information make my life much more pleasant. Please help me by not making it feel as though I’m pulling teeth.
Caller no. 2 was given an appointment on the spot, and had very nice manners when he turned up.
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| Saturday, July 6th 2019 |
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| Finally, the thigh boots! |
After a couple of false starts, I finally found the perfect pair of black leather thigh boots. Having failed with a bespoke boot maker in London, and even more miserably with a company in Florence, I was recommended a guy in Berlin, and booked a flight.
After 2 amazing days in Berlin, featuring drag queens, scorching heat, too many cocktails at the famous Hotel Adlon, fantastic food, and lots of sight seeing, I returned home in triumph, having finally sourced the perfect pair, made from soft black leather. All they need now is to be worshipped by their devotees.
A massive thank you to the kind gentleman who got in touch to recommend the super sexy boot and leather shop. |
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| Thursday, May 9th 2019 |
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| A small item in the paper... |
... made my day today: “A domestic goose feared killed by a fox a year ago has returned home to the Shire Horse Trust, near Redruth, Cornwall, along with a flock of wild Canada geese. Staff there say he is refusing to rejoin his old gaggle.”
Die free, little goose!
I have again been chided for neglecting my blog, and I have yet again promised to mend my ways and do better. I have also not made any progress in sourcing the long promised black leather thigh boots - it’s actually remarkably tricky to have them made to measure, instead of buying those ugly cheapo pvc ones that don’t look sexy. One attempt failed miserably, when an ordered pair turned up from Italy after a 2 months’ wait, and had to be returned because they didn’t fit.
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| Tuesday, September 4th 2018 |
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| I unleashed a monster! |
Who knew that sex chat can be so, ahem, stimulating?? i have recently decided to offer a chat service (see my website for details), and not only has it taken off like a bomb, I also enjoy it waaay more than is decent.
So, as soon as I can work out how to offer erotic fantasies and taboo chat via adultwork, I’ll be available for phone sessions, particularly when I hang out in the German countryside between my London visits, when I’m frequently rather sex starved.
Oh, and a little side note for Alan (see one of my previous blogs posts):
Since I haven’t heard from you regarding collection of the diamond stud you dropped on your last visit, I have now arranged to have it set into an ear stud. |
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| Thursday, June 28th 2018 |
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| Marital Sex, D*ggie Style |
Definition: when he's on all fours and begs, and she plays dead.
If I had £1 for every time a man said to me 'I love my wife, but....'
Lack of sex within marriage or a long term committed relationship is probably the main reason men use the services of escorts, together with having sexual preferences they feel they can't impose on their partners for a variety of reasons.
So, when I came across a TED talk on that very subject on youtube I was interested enough to watch it in its entirety, and found it both informative and hilarious.
It also carries a really important health message for men suffering from erectile dysfunction, so if that's you, please don't just dismiss it as one of the many drawbacks of increasing age.
The talk is by the charming Maureen McGrath, and is called No Sex Marriage - Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame, and it's a lot funnier than it sounds. |
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| Saturday, May 5th 2018 |
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| The best place on earth is... |
London in the spring! Early morning in the park, enjoying a cappucino at the Italian Garden Cafe. I did very little jogging over the winter, and am now paying the price for my lack of fitness. Athletic septuagenarians are sprinting past me in skin tight lycra, sporting cracking arses and legs. I have never seen so many hot older men.
The coming autumn will see me equipped with proper all weather gear, and I'll never let discipline slip again. To speed up my fitness regimen I have booked myself a July week at my usual fat camp in the Black Forest.
Meanwhile, my search for a perfect pair of black leather thigh boots continues. Unfortunately Soho is a shadow of its former self, and the fetishy boutiques around Old Compton Street don't have what I'm looking for. I have found a website with made to measure crotch high boots, manufactured in Florence, so I'll attempt to take my measurements and place an order. Watch this space! |
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| Monday, March 5th 2018 |
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| Spring brings a change of pace |
This morning, as I walked through the big dog loo that is Kensington Gardens towards my nail salon, I was struck by the spring mood among the birds, dogs, plants and even people. Crows and magpies foostered about the trees lugging twigs for their new nests.
In a buoyant mood, I resolved there and then to work less hard, be less available, have a life, and do more of the stuff that I enjoy until the next time Christmas decorations are up in Harrods. I will no longer offer half hour bookings (except to established regulars), and my phone will probably remain switched off more. |
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| Saturday, January 20th 2018 |
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| The Power of Human Touch |
More and more of my multi-hour appointments now contain an element of massage. I don't mean the euphemism for a wank, but proper massage, as far as I'm able. Once the main deed is done and there is a half hour left to chat, have another glass of wine, and generally wind down a little, I often offer a back massage or a foot massage. Most of my guests love it, and often snooze a little while I rub oil into their skin. At the next visit, they request massage again, if there is a little time left before real life intrudes. It's such a simple thing, but gives so much pleasure. I thought of that when I read the following article in the New York Times:
"In 1945, the Austrian physician Rene Spitz investigated an orphanage that took extra care to make sure its infants were not infected with disease. The children received first-class nutrition and medical care, but they were barely touched, to minimise their contact with germs. The approach was a catastrophe. Thirtyseven percent of the babies died before reaching age 2.
It turns out that empathetic physical contact is essential for life. Intimate touch engages the emotions and wires the fibres of the brain together.
The power of this kind of loving touch is long lasting. The famous Grant Study investigated a set of men who had gone to Harvard in the 1940s. The men who grew up in loving homes earned 50 % more over the course of their careers than those from loveless ones. They suffered from far less chronic illness and much lower rates of dementia in old age. A loving home was the best predictor of life outcomes.
For this reason, cultures all around the world have treated emotional touching as something apart. Emotional touch alters the heart and soul in ways that are mostly unconscious. It seems that the smarter we get about technology, the dumber we get about relationships. We live in a society in which loneliness, depression and suicide are on the rise. We seem to be treating each other worse. The guiding moral principle is not complicated: try to treat other people as if they possessed precious hearts and infinite souls. Everything else will follow."
I have shortened the article massively, particularly where it strays into the subject of 'negative touch', but if you are interested in reading the whole thing, the writer is David Brooks.
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See the rest of my blog here. |
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Link to this blog using: http://blogs.adultwork.com/Mature+Uschi or http://blogs.adultwork.com/1005856 or 
| Showing most recent pictures, 30 of 61. Click here to view them all. |
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| The nude look, satin and lace French knickers and |
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| Mature glamour in black lace |
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| Black and shiny - latex mini dress |
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| Retro suspender with double clasps |
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| What is your starsign? |
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 |
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| What is your Primary Language? |
German |
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| What is your Secondary Language? |
English |
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| What is your ethnicity? |
Caucasian (White) |
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| What is the colour of your eyes? |
Green |
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| What is the colour of your hair? |
Blonde |
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| What length is your hair? |
Bobbed |
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| How tall are you? |
5'7" |
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| What is your shoe size? |
6 |
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| What is your dress size? |
10 |
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| What is your bra cup-size? |
B |
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| Are your breasts natural or enhanced? |
Natural |
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| Do you smoke? |
No |
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| Do you have any tattoos or piercings? |
Neither |
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