AdultWork.com - NicoleRivas's Blog

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Monday, March 11th 2024

A true friend and possibly a soul mate

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."
Bob Marley

Thursday, December 28th 2023

Thank you!

Thank you to all the people I have met in the past 3 years that I have been on here. Thank you for making my life better. I have learnt something from each of you: from some I have learnt self-love, respect, uniqueness and the imperfect perfection of each individual. Others projected aspects of my personality that I chose to pretend didn't exist. From others I have learnt acceptance, and I learnt that forgiveness is more important than the need to be right. I also learnt to be strong and I learnt the meaning of humility. You all made me want to surpass myself, to be better and better. Each one of you has helped me to grow, to develop and for that I thank you. May the winter holidays bring you peace, love warmth and harmony upon your souls!

Tuesday, December 5th 2023

Love body and soul

" What shall we do?
-Love.
-Are you sure?
-Yes.
-Well, I'll take my clothes off.
-Why are you getting undressed?
-Well, I want to.
-Who told you that you have to take your clothes off to make love?
-Well, as far as I know, that's the way it's done.
-No, that's not the only way to make love. No.
-How then?
-Leave your clothes on and let's talk until we're tired, laugh about anything and everything, stare at each other until we try to figure it out. With me, you don't have to undress your body, but your soul, let's look at each other until we run out of words, and there, in that moment when words are not enough to explain what we feel, in that infinite silence, we can touch ourselves. Do you understand?
-We touch ourselves, you say?
-Yes, we will touch ourselves with the gentle tenderness of a caress that sweetly extends to death in an embrace.
-Oh, how beautiful.
-Look, will you let me hold your hand?
-Yes.
-Do you feel it? This is one of the ways of making love. That's what it's all about. You keep your clothes on and we talk until we've had enough. We'll look at each other's mouths, eyelashes, lips, and if kissing is necessary, it will come without asking.
- And you're going to force them to stay open?
- Yes, to watch you all night...
Only you.....
Let's talk until we know all our memories, until we know our deepest secrets, just let me look at you to the most extreme and delicious pleasure, let me see your soul to exhaustion, until these eyes give up and force me to lower the eyelids that make me sleep.

Wednesday, November 8th 2023

Just a simple dreamer

I'm just a simple dreamer... I mean a human being, a human being who has a soul, a heart, feelings, desires, who wants a little attention, understanding and a little love.

I'm a simple person. I like simple people.
I like people who say "hello" and "thank you".
I like people who are modest and have a beautiful soul.
I like people who are kind and emotional, whose good sense never goes unnoticed.
I like people who smile at me sincerely and ask me how I'm doing, not just out of habit, but because they care.
I like people who take the time to answer me when they are busy, who give me honest advice without being selfish.
I'm a person who loves things that are simple, good and beautiful.

Monday, September 18th 2023

Long distance love

Long distance love, how are you?
Are you thinking of me too?
I thought about you again today,
Just hoping that you are okay,
Can’t you please pick up the phone?
As I sit here all alone.

Long distance love, do you recall?
The times it seemed we had it all,
The times we thought would never end,
But now I need more than a friend,
Everything could be so right,
If you would just come home tonight.

Long distance love, can’t you see?
How much you really mean to me,
Sometimes it seems to be my fate,
To have to sit at home and wait,
But if this is what I have to do,
I will always be here for you.

—Alan W. Jankowski

Monday, July 10th 2023

Every person has a story

Every person has a unique and personal story that defines them. Each of us has experiences, emotions, relationships and moments that shape our lives and influence our choices and perspectives. Our stories can be full of joys and successes as well as challenges and setbacks. They can reflect our personal journeys, our spiritual and professional development, and our interactions with other people and the world around us.

Each story is unique through the lens of our individual memories, values, passions and aspirations. It can be the story of a trip abroad, the story of a special encounter, a marriage or a break-up, a career success or a failure that taught us important lessons. Our story can include moments of pure happiness, but also of sadness or difficult trials that we have overcome with courage and resilience.
It is important to recognize and appreciate the diversity and richness of human stories. Each story brings with it lessons and teachings that can inspire and influence those around us. It is our story that sets us apart and makes us unique in this vast world.

By sharing our stories, we can create authentic connections and mutual understanding. By listening to and learning from others, we can gain perspective on their lives and better understand human diversity.
Ultimately, each story contributes to the whole picture of human experience and allows us to explore and discover the complexity and beauty of the world we live in.

Wednesday, June 21st 2023

i am a dreamer

I'm a dreamer.
I'm one of those people with my head in the clouds, who still has a dose of naivety, who still hopes, who still believes in the beauty and goodness of people. I like to enjoy every moment, to imagine in difficult moments that everything will be okay, that things will work themselves out, I like to cheer myself up when life seems hard, when everything around me seems to take a different trajectory.
I'm a simple human being. I'm not perfect and I don't want to be, I don't have a simple life, but not extraordinarily complicated either, I can't say I haven't made mistakes, but I don't regret anything I've done, good or bad, in every moment I just tried to do what I felt. I may have kept silent many times to not upset someone, but I didn't regret that either because at the time I felt that was what I had to do. I only regret what I didn't do...I regret that maybe I didn't always show my feelings, maybe for fear of being disappointed; I regret that maybe I didn't achieve what I set out to do, but I am proud of everything I achieved; I would perhaps be false if I said that I regret what I have done, it is my deeds, my thoughts, my actions, maybe sometimes I was sorry, but I have never regretted. you should never regret what you do or say, I believe that the moment you regret what you have done at a certain moment, you deny your feelings, because good or bad, the words and deeds you do, belong to you, you feel them and you should not be ashamed of what you feel or think. Your feelings and thoughts make you unique, make you special.
As Jonathan Larson said, "Forget the regrets, or you'll lose your whole life." What's the point of spending your life regretting? Whoever knows you, whoever is close to you, whoever truly appreciates you, will continue to do so, whether or not your thoughts and feelings coincide with theirs, whether or not at some point you said something they disagree with. People don't get close, they don't get attached to each other just because they do or don't have common ideas; sometimes adversarial discussions strengthen a relationship, give you the opportunity to get to know a person better, to know their thoughts and ideas. The important thing is to be yourself, and those who really care about you will know how to accept you for who you really are, without having to pretend to be anything other than who you are.

Thursday, March 16th 2023

Love and lust

"Love and lust are poles apart.

Lust is chaos, love is art.

Love infinite, lust is finite.

Love is sustained, lust is short.

Love is spiritual, lust is physical.

Love is ideal, lust is sensual.

Love is selfless, lust is selfish

Love immortal, lust is mortal.

Love is productive, lust is destructive.

Love is optional, lust is impulsive.

Love is energetic, lust is crazy.

Love is humanist, lust instinctive.

Lust is rabid dog, love is padagog.

Love demands inner beauty, lust demands appearance.

Lust starts from black holes of eyes, love from conscientious part of heart.

Love develops in brain, lust develops in gonads.

Lust stays on surface of the words, but love in depths of unconscious.

Love is rationally emotional, lust is emotionally rational.

Love is Allopath, lust is Psychopath.

Love is Homoeopath, lust is Sociopath.

Love kisses, lust disses.

Love honours, lust ravishes.

Love insight, lust is blind.

Lust devours, Love nourishes.

Love replays, lust betrays.

Love impresses, lust oppresses.

Love centralizes, lust strays.

Love expresses, lust depresses.

Love is healthy, lust is lame.

Lust is gambling, love is game.

Love is Platonic, lust is Bubonic.

Lust is shameless, love is shame.

Lust is volcano, love is rain.

Love is Abel, lust is Cain.

Prophets weep, Demons laugh.

Love is fruitful, lust is vain.

Love is need, lust is greed.

Lust is maniac, love is sane.

Lust is a beast, love is dove.

Lust is hatred, love is love

Lust is passion, love compassion.

Lust is beneath, love above.

Love is even climb, it is never lost.

Lust is a decline, it is ever lost.

Love is always true to the core but lust is hyperbole.

Love provides endless satisfaction, lust ends at opposite pole.

Love is the base of this universe,

Lust is baseless in itself.

My subject is my subject.

Such enveloping my subject.

Such as God to His universe.

Such as Devil to this universe.

Love is a sincerity and responsibility.

Lust is insincerity, irresponsibility.

Confirmation test is just,

sacrifice or obedience.

Both or only one is must.

Lust is aimless without love.

Love is aimful without lust.

My subject is thy subject.

My subject is love and lust.

I can tell you one secret.

Love and lust are poles apart.

But make union only when.

Lust is second, love is first.

Just, ask a victim of lust."

Thursday, February 2nd 2023

I will be here for you

I will be here for you...

"When you're sad and depressed,
I will be here to put a smile on your face.

When you're angry and frustrated,
I will be here to calm you down.

When you're hurt and in tears,
I will be here to wipe them away and mend the pain.

When you're lonely and have no one,
I will be here to comfort you.

When you're feeling unloved and unwanted,
I will be here to tell you how very important you are.

When you're having a bad day and need to lash out,
I will be here to let off steam.

When there is something on your mind that you need to say,
I will be here to listen and understand.

When you're lost in confusion,
I will be here to help you figure things out.

When you feel like you're going crazy,
I will be here to bring you back to sanity.

When you are so overwhelmed and need to get away,
I will be here with open arms so we can run away together.

When you're scared and frightened,
I will be here to protect you and make you feel safe.

When you are full of worries,
I will be here to worry with you.

I promise that I will always be here for my loved ones,
today, tomorrow and forever!"

Tuesday, November 29th 2022

Memories flooding my mind

I went to the shop today when I smelt something very familiar. It was the smell of Oranges.. Suddenly memories of my childhood came flooding back. I remembered days of my childhood and winter holidays. We ate Oranges only on the 6th of December, when Saint Nicholas would put Oranges and some sweets in our shoes after we'd clean them and put them by the Window. The 25th of December, when Santa Claus would come and put Oranges and bananas under the tree. To be honest Santa didn't come every time but my parents would buy us some Oranges. I couldn't resist after having all these wonderful memories flooding back, so I went to the shop and bought some to take home. I couldn't wait to get home and be alone and so I could re-live all my special memories once again.
I took an Orange and held it for a while. I started peeling and thought about my Childhood and all my fond memories. I remember how even peeling the orange felt like a special occasion. From time to time, it would squirt just a little juice from the rind held between the fingers, this made the smell intensify. The memories were becoming more and more intense. Once the orange was peeled, another ritual that followed, would be that of eating the fruit. First I would nibble the white part, then I would spread the orange open splitting into smaller slices, which I would slowly eat, savouring every bite like and every moment, so that this special miracle could last just a little longer.
My brother was a little sneaky with his habits. He would eat his orange super quickly so that he could eat some of mine also. He knew that I wouldn't be able to eat without sharing some with him. All these memories flooding my mind while eating this juicy Orange.
I know that it's just a simple fruit. But this beautifully simple fruit always brings back so many wonderful memories..

Tuesday, November 15th 2022

Sun and Moon

Today i was reading some poems and i liked this one very much. It's a poem about lovers who are in a long distance relationship.

You were like the sun who brought light
Into my cold, dark, and lifeless night.
You made me realize that no matter what I do,
My life will always revolve around you.

Just when I thought that darkness was all around,
You showed me your light and picked me up off the ground.
In your arms, love and care is what I found.
With you, peace and ease surrounds.

We are like the sun and the moon.
Far in every way, but I wish to see you soon.
We are miles and miles apart,
But never forget we are always connected in our heart.

Monday, October 31st 2022

story

Today i felt a bit nostalgic and i was reading from my notebook with memories. I found a story that I wrote when i was in high school and i would like to share it with you. To see a part of me which you may have never seen before. I have never showed this story to anyone, but i feel like i want to share it with you. The story is called "the song of your heart".

What does the song of your heart sound like? Is it a happy or a sad song? I know... I think i know.. It's a happy song, a song that makes you feel free like a dandelion blowing in the wind, flying all over the garden and dancing as it is brushed by the thief who stole it to have it all for himself so they can dance together without disruption. Is this normal. Is it a happy song all the time, a song which makes you feel alive, a song which... Which makes you smile, a song that takes you to your little world every time. Which makes you love everything? I don't think so. I think it is like this when you are in love, when you are with the person you love. When you are together, when you hold her..then your hearts song is a happy song. But... When you are apart, how do you feel? Are you sad/unhappy? Yes you are.. You are like this only if you love her. And then your thoughts are flying to her and...and you dream.. You dream that you kiss her, hug her but...when you open your eyes she is not next to you. That's when you realise, that was only a dream and then you are sad and you feel like a pigeon.. A pigeon? Not like a pigeon because I See pigeons every day and they are together all the time. I know.. You feel like a firefly. Yes! A firefly, that lights up the bush from The garden. Can you imagine how sad he feels when the morning comes, when the sun is up? Why is he sad? Why? Do you really not understand why? He lives in the night. He lives for the night, he lives to light up the silhouette that surrounds the darkness of every night. The night for the firefly, is like your girlfriend to you. Yes, you are not sad when you are not with her? He feels the same when the night "runs" from him. But in a way he is happy. Do you know why? because he knows that he will "meet" her again, even if he has to wait few more hours. Or even a day. A day? Yes, a day for him seems like an eternity but For him the night means everything and he knows that she is worth the wait.
At the start of this, I was asking you how the song of your heart sounds. Can you tell me? Is it a happy or sad song? I think both or...is it possible that there is another song? A... "middle" song? You understand what I am trying to say.. don't you? Who knows, maybe it is a 'middle" song. I know only the happy and sad songs."

Tuesday, October 4th 2022

thank you!

2 years ago i started here. It seems like yesterday. In these years i've learnt lots of things about people but more about myself. And i've learnt all these things from all of you. I always say that everything is happening for a reason and we don't meet people by accident. They teach us something. Some came into my life for just few moments, some for hours, and other for days or even weeks and months. You all came in my life when i needed you.
Regardless of whether you taught me a lesson or whether you came as a blessing, you were part of the process of my development and made my journey more interesting. You offered me the mirror in which i could see my qualities, my limits, my potential. You challenged me to be more than i knew at any given moment. You saw me happy, relaxed, excited, sad, worried, bored and even anxious... Maybe there were times when i said things i shouldn't have said and after i regretted but you knew to see behind the words and you again taught me something.
I'm grateful for all of you and every time i think of you (even people i didn't talk for long) i realise that i have a smile on my face.
These were 2 lovely years where i made new friends with who i shared my thoughts, my feelings and sometimes even my fantasies.
Therefore, what i am now, i am thanks to you. Thank you!

Sunday, September 25th 2022

Life is beautiful

Life is beautiful!
Beauty comes from within, family, friends, and everything around us.
Life is beautiful for all those who want to see it's beauty. For those who don't just stop, when life gets difficult.
Life is beautiful when you let go of everything that drags you down. When you let go of the people who stop you from living your life. When you step forward with confidence to create your own destiny.
Life is beautiful when you have someone who will catch you if you fall.
Life is beautiful when you laugh and you enjoy what you have. When you live in joy for every moment possible.
Even if sometimes life is difficult, life is still beautiful.
To be really happy it is necessary to have a positive attitude and to learn to be grateful for everything we have.
We have to control our exaggerated desires, forcing ourselves to survive in this world where the materialism is all that matters.
One way to change ourselves is to try to know ourselves better, to be aware of what we really want. To try to see all the little things around us that makes us happy or at least, to steal a smile from us if we take time to appreciate their true value.

"Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life."